homesickness.mp3
Going Home by The Score
maybe i’m afraid by lovelytheband
&Run by Sir Sly
Anna Sun by WALK THE MOON
Glorious by Adam Friedman (from the movie Rock Dog, don’t @ me)
Be Okay by Oh Honey
Hey Look Ma, I Made It by Panic! at the Disco
The Middle by Jimmy Eat World
Send Me On My Way by Rusted Root
Country Roads, Take Me Home by John Denver
The short story:
This playlist wound up being very personal, without me even realizing it, that goes from nostalgia, to overcoming sadness/homesickness/the-general-slump-feeling-of-being-away-from-your-family-for-most-of-the-year, and back to nostalgia that makes me feel connected to my family despite the distance. I thought I was creating a playlist to represent me through some songs that I really vibe with, and ended up making an audial representation of my current emotional state by accident. I have a very different feeling about all of these songs than any other audience would have, and while it makes it difficult to explain why I chose these songs, it’s really cool to think that others will take away something very different, yet possibly still meaningful from this.
The Long Story:
I didn’t realize it until I’d already made this entire playlist because I’m pretty oblivious by nature, but! It turns out I’m feeling very homesick lately! As a Connecticut native, I go home only when there’s a week+ long break, so I miss out on pretty much everything that happens with my family, which sucks a whole bunch. I am very close with all five of my first cousins, and my two siblings, and, especially because I’m the oldest of all of them, it feels very strange, even after three years, to miss out on so much.
So anyway. Homesickness, as is evident from the very first song title (Going Home), is a theme here. I really should have noticed it before I got all the way through this playlist. The whole playlist, has a nostalgic feeling for me, because of memories I have surrounding most of these songs, but may not evoke that same feeling from an audience that is not me. I definitely created this playlist with myself in mind as the primary audience, though I’m sure that others might enjoy this mix.
Others who listen to this mix probably won’t go through the same number of moods shifts as I will because of this (Country Roads, Take Me Home probably doesn’t evoke immense sadness in most people), even though it takes me on an emotional roller-coaster. There is a generally upbeat tone to all of these songs, so despite their deeper meaning to me, others will likely feel differently at the end of their listening than I do.
The first few songs (Going Home, maybe i’m afraid, &Run, and Anna Sun) are songs that I’ve found on my own that make me think of memories I have with my siblings and cousins, of late summer nights and taking my dad’s car for long drives with the top down, even when it’s just about to rain. There’s no specific memories tied to these songs, but a general feeling that I am absolutely certain is wildly different than anyone else will feel about them when listening.
The next two tracks (Glorious and Be Okay) are songs that I specifically associate with my little sister and trips to visit our grandparents, and the feeling the comes along with doing something you thought you could never do. Positive vibes and all that.
The track Hey Look Ma, I Made It is another that I found on my own, that doesn’t make me think of specific memories, but it flows along with the “I did it, even though I thought I couldn’t” feelings from the last two songs, less in a “push through” sort of way, and more in a “hell yeah, look at me, I did it!” sort of way.
The next two songs (The Middle and Send Me On My Way) I associate strongly with positive vibes, like Glorious and Be Okay, in a different sort of way that I have quite literally no idea how to explain.
Finally, the last track, Country Roads, Take Me Home, is tied directly to a specific memory of driving through my town at night with my whole family, with the windows down and all five of us singing along to this song at the top of our lungs like a bunch of morons. It’s one of my favorite memories, and it makes me feel close to them, even though I’m almost two-hundred and fifty miles away from them right now.
And now, because I’ve made myself really nostalgic, here’s a picture of my brother, my sister, and I from a couple summers ago, that looks like the cover of a really terrible Indie album:
