Songs I Wish I Could’ve Written

I have a huge problem when it comes to music: I can’t stop talking about it. Most of my thoughts are occupied by songs playing and replaying in my mind and any opportunity I have to discuss music, whether that be music theory, new albums out, or even opinions I have on popular Youtubers who review music (i.e. Anthony Fantano or Dead End Hip Hop) will result in an hour long conversation whether it was asked for or not.

Something I also tend to do often is rearrange songs for my a cappella group or for my own solo pleasure. I am always looking to create new material so that I can perform it somewhere for people because it’s what I love to do most outside of simply singing by itself. So I decided to make my playlist a collection of songs that I don’t have any desire to do that for. These are songs I have heard at one point or another in my life that touched me deeply in a way that makes me want to preserve their beauty. I also tried to make the songs flow into one another as smoothly as possible but with as many slow songs as there are on here there was bound to be at least one depressing stretch (I’m looking at you Bon Iver).

There is only one song that isn’t on spotify so I couldn’t include it in the playlist but if it were in the playlist it would fall between songs 10 and 11.

1. There is a comforting feeling in being alone with your thoughts. That your thoughts are the one thing that other people can’t take away from you or claim for themselves. I always picture Jacob Collier’s room, which is the space he’s singing about on the song Hideaway, as a physical manifestation of the human mind and how at some of the most stressful and trying times in our lives, it can be the only thing and everything that we need. I can always visit this song when I need to get away from people and the cacophony that society can be sometimes.
2. This song is a straight up banger and one of the most forward thinking songs of last year. It’s beat is so simplistic but so effective in making me want to thrash my head around. I am an avid rap consumer and I myself have dabbled in making beats for rap songs and if I were to make a beat I would want it to be as hard hitting and as visceral as this. The last verse on the song, performed by Kevin Abstract, also progresses rap music by at least 10 years as he casually rap about being gay, something that is so simple and harmless but something that rap was unfortunately missing up until now. Props to these pioneers of the industry.
3. As an artist there’s not much to be said about Frank Ocean that hasn’t already been said. He slays me every time I hear him sing and his timbre is transcendent. This song is special to me because it is the first song that I performed live on my own and every time I sing it i lose myself in his floating melody and warm chords. When he brings in Austin Feinstein to sing the second chorus, I don’t even know what chords are happening underneath him and it frustrates me to no end but also just adds to its charm and pathos. If you want a breakup song, this one cuts deep.
4. I intially heard Shaimus on Rockband 2 because this song was a free download and I used to play the Rockband series a little bit too much (I can beat most people I know on drums or guitar on expert and I’m not proud of that). When I heard this song though I was shocked at how sticky the chorus was for an indie rock song at the time (I was only 14 when I heard it so my music knowledge was limited). I never feel bad belting this song out in my room because it makes me dance and lose myself and forget that I have roommates who don’t appreciate me singing 24/7.
5. Flying Lotus is the best producer in the game and you can quote me on that. His skillset and variety of musical genres is crazy versatile and on this song instead of his usual wild jazz rap beats, he comes through with a patient song with a beat switch that is trance inducing. He only uses two notes going back and forth at the end to propel the song forward but it’s so effective it make me mad (Not actually though I just wish I was as good as he was at making music).
6. I didn’t become a weirdo about vocal riffs until I joined an a cappella group but hearing this song now just leaves me in awe. NIKI does things with her voice that make me rewind the song over and over until i finally break down the riff in its entirety. I’ll spend 45 minutes breaking down one riff and then 2 seconds later she’s onto the next one and it’s rinse and repeat for me. Not to mention how beautiful the underlying piano instrumental is. UGH!!
7. Howard Shore is so good he actually makes me want to quit music altogether. I watched an interview with him on the creation of the score for Lord of the Rings and there was one moment where he was watching parts of the movie that hadn’t been scored yet and quite literally just starting writing down notes with a pencil on score paper. He didn’t even play anything on an instrument he just already knew how he wanted the piece to sound. That is musical genius to me and even though I picked possibly his least known track from the LOtR series, every time I hear it I am overcome with a profound sadness akin to the feeling of having to say goodbye to someone that you love and not knowing when the next time you will see them will be. He also used a kids choir in this piece and the innocence of the moment is heightened because of it. That is madness to me.
8. Schizophrenic music. That’s how I’d describe Clarence Clarity to people. His music gets me into those free flowing moods where I just say the first that comes to my mind no matter how ridiculous it is. And that is kind of what his music feels like. It feels like no idea was scrapped whatsoever and he used everything he had in his arsenal, yet it comes together so cleanly and bumps in the grimiest way possible. I LOVE IT.
9. Here comes the sadness. I learned to play this song on guitar my sophomore year of college and it is in a weird tuning that no other song I know of is in. The strangest thing for me was that when I tuned my guitar down to play the song I didn’t tune my guitar back for at least a month even though that was the only song I knew in that tuning. The song spoke to me in a subconscious way and made me feel strangely good about growing up despite its tendency to make me want to crawl into a corner in grey silence for days.
10. Bon Iver is a ridiculous human. “For Emma, Forever Ago” was actually the first album I can distinctively remember replaying multiple times in a row. It’s also an album that got me out of a terrible depressive episode that i didn’t even realize was an episode until months later because it just so happened to be my first one. To quote a Youtuber who I respect as a content creator and reviewer even if I don’t agree with most of his opinions on Bon Iver’s music, “The level of desolation and pain on this LP (For Emma) is unmatched by most guys who try to pick up an acoustic guitar and sing a sad song,” (Anthony Fantano). The Wolves is the most painful song on the album and any time it comes on I physically cannot skip it just because it serves as a reminder to me how far I’ve come since that moment in time when I was really feeling that pain, and how this song made me feel understood.
11. “The Pot” by Tool is the only metal song on my list and it’s also the only progressive song on my list but if anyone reading wants to talk about those two unsung genres I gladly will because they don’t get the respect that they deserve. Tool is a patient listen because most of their songs are slow burners that build to one single climax and then the song is done. But “The Pot” is a song that made me see their songs a little differently because it was the first of their songs that I learned on the drums. I have amazing memories of just pounding my drumset at home to this song. It was a time where I was getting out a lot of anger and angst, but it was also a time that helped me discover that I actually had a knack for music, something that even to this day is hard for me to accept.
12. Sara Bareilles is slept on. She is an incredible songwriter and Islands is my favorite breakup song ever because I relate to the pain of knowing that you’re no good for someone and they’re no good for you, even if you do love them. It’s something that’s hard for me to deal with because I’m someone who just simply likes people and telling someone else who you like and respect as a person that you don’t want to be with them anymore or accept their love anymore can be just as agonizing as being told the same thing. My a cappella group sang this song last year and it was one of those songs that made me feel closer to my group every time we sang it. There is a solidarity in the sadness that I can’t begin to try to explain, but that I appreciate more than anything.
13. This song holds a special place as being the only love song on my playlist. I am clearly a sucker for a good sad song but there is something about the low tone of Iron and Wine’s guitar and voice in this song that makes what good be a super cheesy song, one that is warm and genuine. It’s personal and detailed but also mysterious and not invasive, just like a great poem. I love sitting outside in the grass and playing this song on a breezy spring day with the cherry blossoms in bloom. It’s an awesome mood to be in.
14. I could write a novel on this song (as if I haven’t already written enough) but I am going to try to keep it simple. This song is a measure of my growth in college. I used to hate pop music, this is a pop song. The lyrics recognize the speaker’s battle with depression and self-deprecation, something that plagued me up until my junior year when I took steps to improve my mental health. And lastly, in the a cappella world this song has been performed an infinite amount of times, something that I don’t love doing when my group chooses and then performs songs, and this song is going to be my senior song. This song is a chance to prove to myself that I really shouldn’t be afraid of anything and that I should always keep an open mind, no matter how right I think I am in any given situation. It also gives me a chance to thank my friends and family who have supported me through college with one of my favorite songs ever.

Even if you don’t read my descriptions (which I expect because let’s be real, they’re too long) I hope you enjoy listening to the songs because I think they are awesome and varied.