4 books that offer insight into what it’s like to be a third culture woman
I immigrated to America with my family in 1993. I was still quite young at the time that if anyone asked me today how I felt about relocating to a foreign land I wouldn’t be able to provide an answer. The only thing I do remember is an airport customs officer jokingly stopping me at an entrance and not letting me pass. I was terrified by this occurrence and continued to be in fear of being separated from my parents for the next few days.
The very first time I was hit by the realization that many “American” values I was being taught were somehow teaching me to be disobedient and disrespectful to my family was in the fourth grade. I had learned in school that physical punishment by a parent can be a form of abuse. In a Chinese family, spanking or slapping of the hand as a form of discipline is very common. I remember that evening when my father wanted to punish me for not getting 100% on my math test I told him we lived in a free country and spanking a child was not right, so if he was going to punish me then I would tell the police about it. The result of saying something like that got me a good slapping of the hand, a serious lecture on filial piety, and being grounded for two weeks.
Emigrating from a culture of origin to living in a new second culture and establishing a new cultural and personal identity, also known as the third culture, is what most 1.5 generation immigrant children have to go through. At times it almost seems as if it’s a never-ending battle to find the perfect balance and peace between the new and the old, the traditional and the “Western”. Trials and suffering produces perseverance, perseverance builds character, character produces hope, and hope is what helps people move forward to finding their true identities.
The Woman Warrior, by Maxine Hong Kingston
Kingston writes about five different women. An aunt Kingston never knew, a mythical character Fa Mu Lan, Kingston’s own mother, Kingston’s mother’s sister, and Kingston herself. Reading this book is almost like watching Kingston put together a collage of her family’s origin and the relations to her own future as a child growing up in an immigrant family. Kingston learns that an aunt she never knew committed suicide because of disgrace to the family. She then jumps into the imagination that she is a mythical heroine called Fa Mu Lan. Later, Kingston’s mother opens up about her fight against spirits, and also shares the story of Kingston’s other aunt who ended up in an asylum. Is Kingston searching for her identity in the right places? Will her family background and history define her? Or is her identity in her own hands?
The Joy Luck Club, by Amy Tan
This well-known book was first published in 1989 and has already been made into a movie. Of course, watching the movie would be the easier option but the book offers an in-depth character development and other details that is often omitted when movie-makers try to squeeze everything into a two-hour film. Tan’s book takes us into the lives of four Chinese women and their American-born daughters. The four immigrant mothers share their stories of heartbreaking past and hope while their daughters fight to truly understand these women who sacrificed so much for the family. Growing up under the influence and high expectation of the immigrant mothers, the four daughters struggle to find their true identity. This book is about the reality that all people have weaknesses, history, dreams and hopes.
The Mango Season, by Amulya Malladi
Priya, 27-year-old protagonist of this book sheds light on what it’s like to be a third culture woman in an Indian family. Priya never left her traditional-background family until she was 20-years-old. Later, her seven years of life in the U.S. changes her perspective on beliefs and values she was taught as a young girl to live by. When she was young, happiness came in the form of sucking on a mango stone. But she realizes now that finding happiness is much more complicated. If she chooses to fight for her own happiness she knows in her heart she is going to bring disgrace to her family. Is her family’s love for her built on the foundation of who she is or what honor she will bring to the family? Is she Indian Priya or American Priya?
Girl in Translation, by Jean Kwok
Kimberly Chang emigrates from Hong Kong to America with her mother. Kim’s aunt is the only family they have in the U.S. and the only person they can trust. But her aunt betrays their trust and use all their hard-earned money. Even though Kim is limited in her English she works hard in school during the day and works at a clothing factory at night to make a living. In a foreign land with no guidance and a language barrier, Kim realizes at a young age that her future is her own hands. Her struggles and her triumph transforms her into a remarkable heroine.
