A Common Thread
Alison Bechdel’s Fun Home and Alice Walker’s “Beauty: When the Other Dancer is the Self” both explore gender identity through differing means of navigation and ultimately terms of acceptance, generating thought-provoking material that challenges our individual understanding of navigating and coming to terms with our personal identities. By analyzing contrasting examples of identity navigation, we may better understand and explore individualized paths to discovering our true character.
The protagonists in both texts are confronted with challenging normative gender roles in their own way. Alice Walker confides:
“I am eight years old and a tomboy. I have a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, checkered shirt, and pants, all in red. My playmates are my brothers, two and four years older than I. Their colors are black and green…the only difference in the way we are dressed…my parents decide to buy my brothers guns…Because I am a girl, I do not get a gun. Instantly I am relegated to the position of Indian. Now there appears a great distance between us. They shoot and shoot at everything with their new guns. I try to keep up with my bow and arrows,” (Walker, 1983, p. 2).
In this excerpt, Walker reveals the obvious distinction of male and female even in the subtlest of terms, their clothing: red, a typical signifier of femininity, black and green, commonly associated with boys. Walker also recalls it as “the only difference,” referring to a realization of inequality at a young age. This concept is further expressed in Walker’s admission that she did not receive a gun, because she is a girl. As she recollects, Walker is blatant and upfront; writing, “Now there appears a great distance between us.”
Again, even as a child Walker realizes the vast differentiation between herself and her brothers. In addition, Walker’s personal thoughts that follow, speak to a feeling of lower standing and her attempts to play on an equal footing, as so referenced in her role as Indian. Although she wished to be treated in the same regard as her brothers, she was not; thus facilitating inadequacy and insecurity in her identity.
Although Walker’s relationship with her brothers and contrasting treatment from her parents are the resounding motivators of Walker’s inadequacy, Alison Bechdel finds her own insecurity in her relationship with her father, mother, and even herself. Bechdel portrays moments throughout her childhood of continuous attempts by her father to sustain socially acceptable gender roles. The self-proclaimed tomboy remembers this argument between herself and her father:
Father: “What did you do with your barrette?” Young Bechdel: “It fell out!” Father: “I don’t care! Next time I see you without it, I’ll wale on you.”
(Bechdel, 2006, p. 97)
Similar to Walker’s experience, there is a pivotal role demonstrated in mere outward expression of femininity. Although Bechdel is seemingly indifferent about a feminine appearance, it is of the utmost importance to her father, as also demonstrated in his obsession with portraying a perfect family in a Gothic revival home.
The strict conformity of traditional gender roles, or at least the portrayal of such, is greatly demonstrated throughout Fun Home and “Beauty: When the Other Dancer is the Self.” While each circumstance is markedly different than the other, there is a similarity between the two that may allow us to draw a connection in that each experience resulted in a similar outcome, yet the pathway of which was vastly different. As each of us navigate through our own identities, barriers such as this may lead us astray, as well as divert and confuse our chosen paths — especially in cases that strong familial ties come in to play.
In addition to strong insecurities exhibited in their youth, both Walker and Bechdel exhibit a feeling of invisibility. After Walker is shot in the eye by a BB pellet, she recalls, “Now when I stare at people — a favorite pastime, up to now — they will stare back. Not at the “cute” little, girl, but at her scar. For six years I do not stare at anyone, because I do not raise my head,” (Walker, 1983, p. 3). In response to the sudden shift in appearance and thus, attitudes towards her, Walker closes herself off entirely, seeking invisibility. Yet, as a child there is still a longing to be noticed, but positive attention, not a consideration full of pity for a once “cute” girl.
Shortly after Walker’s eye injury, she was bullied at school. Her parents moved her to her grandmother’s home so she might avoid ridicule. While Walker was there, her mother fell ill. Walker writes of this experience:
“I stand looking down on her, knowing that if she dies, I cannot live…Finally a doctor comes. But I must go back to my grandparents’ house. The weeks pass but I am hardly aware of it. All I know is that my mother might die, my father is not so jolly my brothers still have their guns, and I am the one sent away from home.” (Walker, 1983, p. 4).
Even more so, Walker continually asks whether she has changed after the accident; to which the response is always, “’You did not change,’ they say,” (Walker, 1983, p. 4). They do not notice that their child has changed; she stopped looking up; she stopped seeing the world. Walker made herself invisible; yet, her parents seemed to brush her off. Yet, the problem with making yourself invisible is that you become invisible to everyone — even those you want so badly to reach for you.
Just as with Walker’s invisibility, Bechdel struggles to gain attention from her parents. Her father is frequently preoccupied with restoring their home. Her mother, on the other hand, more openly dismisses her. In a conversation with her mother, as she plays the piano, Bechdel writes:
Young Bechdel: “Did Chop-in write chopsticks?” Mother: “Sho-pahn. No. Don’t bother me now.” (Bechdel, 2006, p. 132).
This is not the only cold-shoulder remark from Bechdel’s mother. Throughout the entirety of Fun Home, we notice that her mother continually distances herself from her children. She is often aloof and preoccupied with her own tasks. It seems throughout this text, both parents overemphasize their own identities, so much so that their children often seem forgotten, and thus suffer the consequences.
The theme of invisibility is prominent throughout both texts. Although they are, again, circumstantial, the outcomes are similar. There is a commonality that can be found among those that not only share circumstantial experience, but also emotional experience. A shared emotional experience tends to mold a deeper relationship, a bond formed over healing pain.
Fortunately for Bechdel and Walker, their stories do not end in despair, but rather peace and acceptance of self. Walker reaffirms acceptance of her identity and accident, which is so much a part of her character, in a moment with her daughter. At two years old, her daughter tells her, “Mommy, there’s a world in your eye.” Walker’s child, even at such a young age, recognized the beauty in her mother, and not just her outward appearance. Statements like these do not stem from physical beauty, but rather an all-encompassing realization of another being. Walker closes with her own expressions of acceptance:
“Yes, indeed, I realized, looking into the mirror. There was a world in my eye. And I saw that it was possible to love it: that in fact, for all it had taught me of shame and anger and inner vision, I did love it. Even to see it drifting out of orbit in boredom, or rolling up out of fatigue, not to mention floating back at attention in excitement (bearing witness, a friend has called it), deeply suitable to my personality, and even characteristic of me.” (Walker, 1983, p. 7).
This profound acceptance of self was simply reaffirmed by the genuine innocence and astounding perception of a two year old little girl. However, true and lasting acceptance comes from the self, a recognition of our own values and truths, simply, owning your being.
Bechdel also found her own acceptance. Although her relationship with her father and mother was rocky throughout her childhood, they each came to their own acceptance in their own ways. Bechdel focuses on her own and her father’s acceptance of self. She struggles with understanding her father’s suicide; yet, upon reexamination of their lives, she seems to come to an understanding. Her father was not able to lead the life he wanted, but he was also no fool in knowing who he was. Bechdel’s father seemed to take pride in having a daughter that was able to liev her life on her own terms, to demonstrate and live her own acceptance. Bechdel alludes to this relationship and her coming out in the last line of her book, “…in the tricky reverse narration that impels our entwined stories, he was there to catch me when I leapt.” (Bechdel, 2006, p. 232). As with Walker’s piece, we notice the strength and vital role familial ties play in the navigation, formation, and acceptance of identity.
Through struggles of contrasting circumstances, there is a common thread that links us all: emotional experience. These experiences guide us through our lives and allow us to explore our own identities. Although situations may differ, we must realize our bonds as human, emotional beings. Reaching out and making connections with those that seem so vastly different than us, yet share souls of pain, despair, triumph, and happiness, will allow us to strengthen ourselves, our identities, and one another.
Reference List
Bechdel, A. (2006). Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic. First Mariner Books.
Walker, A. (1983). “Beauty: When the Other Dancer is the Self”.
