Ideal
In the book, Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic (by Alison Bechdel), and the short story, The New Louise (by Sharon Pomerantz), both texts discuss the relationships the main characters have with their parents and other significant people. It seems that it is these relationships that greatly affect the lives and beliefs of the main characters, specifically about how they see themselves and other people.
“What would it feel like to be an ideal?” is a question asked by Louise. For her whole life she looks at models of magazine covers wishing she was an ideal. Louise having feelings of inadequacy because of her appearance in comparison to the magazine models. When Louise goes through her unexpected transformation into what she believes is an, “Ideal”, she tries on new clothes and a part of the text states, “She felt vulnerable and powerful at the same time. The size on her new clothing — size zero — both negated her existence and pronounced her infinite.” It would seem that she finds value you in her appearance, that her worth somehow is determined by the numbers on her clothing. I would suggest that her mother helped plant such seeds of belief. Louise’s mother is know for her critical and judgmental remarks of other people. Louise mentioning that she eventually stopped bringing friends over because of how rude her mother would be. It seems that her mother holds negative feelings for herself as well. After seeing Louis’s transformation, her mother still finds something that Louis should do to better her appearance. The reasoning for that could easily be a loving mothers intention to help better the life of her daughter. Her mother even goes as far to suggest that Louise leave her husband, saying, “For the old Louise, he was perfect, but now he’s not good enough.” Is her mother suggesting that appearance determines an individuals worth? That Louise really wasn’t all that great before but now that she is she should find someone equally great. There seems to be a shared idea that being pretty leads to better relationships, more money, and a happier life. A life that even her mother likely wishes for.
Human beings need love. Simply giving and receiving love is what keeps us alive and gives us reason to be alive. Often times children ask for and give love in the simplest of ways saying things like, “Hold me,” “Play with me,” “Can I help,” “I made something for you,” and “I love you.” A scientific study was done where two groups of baby monkeys were to be given food, water, be cleaned, and cared for in the most basic of ways. The difference between them was that one group of baby monkeys were to receive love and affection while the other group of baby monkeys were to be touched and spoken too at a bear minimum. The baby monkeys receiving the love and affection grew healthy and productively. While the baby monkeys who received no affection eventually turned over facing the wall and died. The need is essential for life and such relationships are similar to that of human relationships. Babies, children, teens, adults, parents, and grandparents need love. Who it comes from may very but significant individuals such as our parents can have a tremendous impact on our lives when it comes to the love or lack of love that they show. In, Fun Home, Alison finds the urge to kiss her father good night to show that she loved him. Not sure how to do so because her family wasn’t affectionate in that way, the event turned to be embarrassing for Alison. The book opens with Alison and her Father playing ‘airplane’. She said, “It was a discomfort well worth the rare physical contact, and certainly worth the moment of perfect balance when I soared above him.” It seems that many of the sweet moments that were had between herself and her father were moments of closeness, whether it be through physical contact or quality time. It would seem that the lack of physical contact and an open conversation were what separated them. She was disappointed when he missed the beautiful sunset and after taking his class, talking with him, and reading his books, she found that she received his attention but it wasn’t about her it was about the books. She desired to be close to him and at times seemed to resent him.
Being a parent is not easy. Being a person isn’t easy. The relationship between the main characters and their parents helped bring about who they each became. They didn’t define each other but they were still part of it and while not perfect, they were most certainly significant.
