Resolutions Through Whiskey

I was numb as I drove my Fiat from my in-law’s house to my family’s home. There was no way I could stay at that house while Priya threw her life away. My home had to become my hiding place. I couldn’t tell you how I got there; I had been driving in circles for hours. I saw nothing. I was in total shock. Did Priya not love us? Did she not want to belong to this family anymore? Did she not love our home?

We as a family built this home. I had worked very hard at my job, built up a career that would allow me to afford to create a stable lifestyle for my family. It was especially important to me to show my father in law that I could look after his daughter, my wife, and his grandchildren. This house was a status symbol, but it was also so much more.

I had built this home for all of my family to live in one day. All accommodations and measurements were made in preparation for my grandchildren, my INDIAN grandchildren to live here one day. I had never seen that day closer than when I met Adarsh. He’s all you’d ever desire in a son in law and they would have made beautiful grandchildren. Grandchildren that I could be a Thatha to, a Thatha full of love.

I had always considered my home to be a happy place. A home built with love and was filled to the ceiling with it. With Nate all grown up and surely set to follow in his sister’s footsteps and leave to America, our home was quiet. Seven years without Priya near had not been easy and it had also not prepared me for how hard the eventual departure of my only son would be. It seemed like Priya had been away for 700 years, but we had only been with Nate for seven seconds.

My wife especially felt this way. With Nate constantly going off camping or spending night after night with his friends, it was difficult for her to feel like a real mother. It was much easier on her when our children were still children, not these adults pursuing their educations and careers. When they fell down, we would heal the wound. When they were hungry, she would make them food. When they fought over HAPPINESS, we’d settle the score, trying hard to remember who had gotten it last. Now we were useless.

In my life, I had never feared old age. Approaching 60 did not bother me as much as it terrified my wife. I felt no need to hide the grey in my hair as she did, with henna dyes. I had always expected to be surrounded by loved ones up until I departed the earth. I had never felt particularly religious so there was never a God I felt the need to fear. I had envisioned the faces of my family to be the last parting images I’d see before I died. Their faces would carry me through the afterlife. With the comfort from that, what man would ever fear death? What man would ever hate growing old? I had no reason to. I had much more life to experience before I could go. I had a family and a house meant to grow.

Until now, at least. With Nate and Priya gone, my wife tied up in the affairs of her own family at her parents’ house, walking through my own front door felt colder and harder than any ice box, even on the hottest Indian summer day. Today, as I opened the door, I’d never been met with such emptiness. I had never felt so alone.

I walked into the living room, ready to lay down on the sofa when I heard a noise from the kitchen. Who could possibly be here? The sun was still up and it would have been unwise for anyone to break in before dusk. I walked into the kitchen, slowly, trying not to make much noise, afraid of a home intruder. A tall, slender figure was standing in front of the counter, back turned towards me. A jug of amber liquid sat on the counter next to him as he reached up in the cabinet for a glass.

“Nate?” I questioned the figure in front of me. He dropped the glass and turned around quickly, revealing himself to be my son.

“Nanna! You startled me!” Nate began frantically looking for a broom and dustpan, obviously frazzled from being caught. He started sweeping as I moved further into the kitchen, watching him.

“Is that whiskey?” Nate frozen. He looked up at me, wide eyed.

“Well… yes.” We stared at each other for a while, Nate obviously searching for a response in my nonchalant expression. I stepped to the spot that had just been swept. I reached for the bottle of Johnny Walker, opened it, and took a swig. Nate’s eyes watched me, looking like they were going to leave his head.

“I have too many larger issues to digest than my son having a drink.”

“I heard that Priya told you,” Nate said as he rose from the floor.

“You knew?” I asked, shocked that Priya hadn’t been keeping a secret from all of us. Did she really trust her brother more than her father?

Nate walked over to the garbage and shook the broken glass from the dustpan into the bin. “Of course I knew. No one could stay in America that long without gaining a few secrets.”

I sighed deeply, leaning against the counter as my son joined me. I handed him the bottle and he gulped down a large amount of alcohol.

“You’ve drank before,” raising my eyebrow at him. Nate laughed.

“What’s camping without a few drinks?”

We walked over to the living room, Nate carrying the bottle of whiskey with us. As we sat down on the sofa, I rubbed my temples. “What am I going to do?”

Nate looked at me and gave a small shrug. “I guess you’ll just have to accept Priya’s decision. You can’t force her to marry Adarsh.”

“Don’t think you’re mother and Thatha won’t try.”

Nate laughed. “Priya has always done things differently. She’s always been stubborn too. How could you not see this coming? I could spot it all the way from here.”

“I did suspect something. I even asked her before arranging the meeting with Adarsh. She lied to me, Nate. Priya looked me in the eye and lied to me. Now I’m an embarrassment.”

“Are you upset because she lied to you and hurt your reputation or because she’s marrying an American?”

I pondered Nate’s question for a minute as I drank from the bottle. “I suppose a bit of both. She’s just becoming too old to play these games. She needs to settle down.”

“She is Nanna,” Nate said, taking the bottle from me. “She’s grown up. She’s doing fine on her own, without a husband. She doesn’t need anyone’s help to support her because she’s stable on her own. She’s taking responsibility for her life and she is settling down, with Nick.”

I took back the bottle and gulped down more of the whiskey. It could have been the alcohol talking, but Nate was making some valid points. I looked at my son, “But why did she lie to me- us?”

Nate laughed, a little drunk from the Johnny Walker. “Because she knew this would happen. I told her that it would be worse the longer she waited, but Nanna, can you really blame her? The way you all behaved, scolding her like the same child who became sick from eating too many pomegranates. It takes a lot of courage to fess up to a secret, especially when you know the burn you’ll receive from the out lash.”

I considered this. Priya had always been independent. Not once in the seven years she had been living in America had she called home for money or assistance. She made a considerable more amount of money than any of the suitors her mother and I had tried to convince her to meet. How many times had she heard her family speak ill of the American people? I could only imagine how conflicted her heart felt. She didn’t want to choose between the man she loved and her family. She only wanted happiness for everyone.

“You’re right,” I told Nate. The sun had set now and the bottle was empty. Nate was resting his head on the armrest of the sofa.

“You’re not heartbroken anymore,” Nate murmured.

“I never was,” I smirked. “I over reacted. But you better not have a secret girlfriend you’re hiding from us too.”

Nate yawned as he closed his eyes. “You’ve heard enough secrets for one day.”

I chuckled as I closed my own eyes, finding new peace before I drifted off to sleep.