What it means to be a Mother
As I struggled to decide on a theme to focus my anthology on, I looked at what we had talked about as a class and thought of what stood out in my mind. Something that I felt I could passionately share with everyone and still relate to the course. I really enjoyed talking about motherhood and the way it effects the idea of Feminism. When I started my sophomore year of high school, my English teachers began asking us about what we wanted to go into in college. I never had a specific job in mind but I wanted to do something, make a name for myself, and be a working woman-change things up. But as I’m writing this, I’m reminded of a conversation I had recently. I was speaking with my grandmother-my hero and the amazing woman I’m named after-about what I wanted to do with my life and what I had planned. After sharing that I’m not really sure what I want or what I’m doing, she asked me what my ultimate goal was. What did I want most in the next 10 years? I surprised myself by answering without hesitation, that I wanted to be a mom. That answer still rings true and it’s also what I’d like to talk about today.
The poem “For My Mother” by May Sarton is one that I haven’t read before. I was looking for texts to use and decided to look for a poem. I own quite a few books full of poetry and while looking through them for one I wasn’t familiar with, I found a few of her poems and this one spoke to me. It’s of course talking about her mother but I really love how it shares a few special moments, happy and sad reminding me of moments I’ve had with my own mother. But what stands out the most is the implication that her mother has now passed away but she still has a huge influence on Sarton’s life. Although passed on, a mother’s teachings stay with us and we continue to look to them for guidance. Sarton shares how she summons her mother “out of the past with poignant love” and remembers “how [they] laughed till [they] cried, swept into merriment especially when times were hard” showing the strong bond they had. I wasn’t sure what poignant meant so I looked into it and found that it means “[sharply] destressing to the feelings” so I would assume that she means she has strong feelings of love for her mother. I would say I have similar feelings for my mom, even though things are hard between us. She does a lot for me and is definitely an important and positive influence in my life.
FRANKENSTEIN by Mary Shelley is a wonderful example of how powerful the role of motherhood holds in our culture. There is a term used to explain the events that take place in this book. It’s most commonly known as “womb-envy” and is described by the late psychoanalyst Karen Horney as “male envy of pregnancy, nursing, and motherhood — of women’s primary role in creating and sustaining life”. This desire to be a creator of life drives Dr. Frankenstein to create such a monster, but finds himself unable to love his creation which causes the Monster to go on a killing spree. The Monster desires to be loved and cared for, but is denied the loving relationship of parent and child. Without anyone to love or guide him, the Monster loses his way and slowly becomes the horrifying monster the town he was believed to be. If Dr. Frankenstein had tried to care for his creation, most of terrible events in the novel could have been avoided. Usually I think this would be viewed as a father and son dispute but because Frankenstein is the sole creator of the Monster I view it also as a struggle between a mother and child. I believe lacking affection from a mother is additionally damaging because the mother often does the more interactive part of raising a child-and without that it’s so easy for a child to go astray; as seen in the book.
My Story by Elizabeth Smart is an amazing autobiography of her abduction from Salt Lake City and being held captive for nine months. Throughout her memoir she talks about the constant fear she felt and her determination to maintain hope. She knew her mother Lois would do everything in her power to save her daughter and that no matter what happened to her, Elizabeth knew her mom would love her. This knowledge strengthened her and helped her to endure being chained up, dressed in disguises, repeatedly raped, and constantly threatened that her family would be killed if she tried to escape. If I was to be in a situation like this, I to would cling to the memories I have of my mom, the card games, the clothes stealing, and the great movie nights. Elizabeth shares specific memories that reassured her that her mother would never give up on her. And Lois didn’t. She does everything she can to keep the family together and find her daughter. She describes her reunion with her parents and it’s such a sweet moment. Her father is filling out some paperwork with an officer and Elizabeth walks in, sees her mother, and runs right into her arms. It’s incredibly touching. Lois Smart had raised her child with love and care and because of that, Elizabeth was able to survive many terrible things, but also recover from them and move on to have a wonderful life. Without that love, I’m not sure she would be where she is today.
Little House on the Prairie is a series by Laura Ingalls Wilder based on her childhood in the northern Midwest during the 1870s and 1880s. In it, it talks about all the traveling they did across the country and their experiences with the railroad being built, Indians, Santa Claus, and freezing winters. The series allows you to watch Laura and her sisters grow up and leave on their own adventures and face challenges but my favorite thing about these books is the tight-knit family. Whenever there’s a problem the girls immediately think of what they’ve been taught by their parents and if needed they go to their ma or pa for help. All throughout the books, you see how important Ma is to the girls. She teaches them all she knows and is always there for the girls. Caroline Ingalls is the glue that holds the family together, and keeps the house and farm in order and good condition. She makes many sacrifices and is a wonderful example to the girls. Obviously a different time with different expectations, I love watching Caroline teach her girls how to cook, sew, how to be a successful teacher and accomplished young women. But I also loved how she made sure that they were capable but also aware of the struggles around them. She taught them how to be compassionate and to care for those that needed it, and how to properly run an effective household. I know without a doubt she would make sure her daughters were just as capable in the present day.
My mom is incredible and i hope i can be even half as amazing as a mother. She’s the best example i could ever ask for.
