Personal Essay

Having a twin brother is a blessing and a curse. He is always there for me and I always have a friend to talk to, but a majority of the time he pushes my buttons invades my personal space and gets on my nerves. Early in life, I used to like being a twin, especially a redheaded twin. I loved the attention and how much I stood out, but that quickly changed. In middle school, I realized that I very rarely got called by my first name anymore, I just get called by my last name because no one can tell me apart from my brother. When this first started I did not think much of it. Slowly it became normal to the point where my coaches and teachers forgot my actual name. After a few years of this, I began to realize no one thought of me as my own person, they only thought of me as just “one of the Peretti twins.” I started to hate constantly being identified as the same person as my brother and having my own personal identity. I realized most of my friends and coaches did not care enough to tell me apart from my brother. I resented them for not caring enough about me to realize my brother and I had different personalities, different strengths, and weaknesses, and were different people. This frustration even boiled over to my brother himself, I convinced myself that the only way I could stand out from him was to be better than him. So, I changed the way I dressed based on what clothes he was wearing, changed my hairstyle, and even talking poorly about my brother to my classmates and friends. I did all of this so they would think of me as the superior twin in hopes of differentiating myself from him. However, my attempts to establish my own individuality failed.

After four years of trying to differentiate me from my brother, nothing changed. I still only answer to my last name at school and practice and I still am known as just one of the twins. However, I realized that most people did not realize how much this hurts me because they have no idea what it’s like to be a twin. They have never felt what it’s like to have everything your brother does reflect upon themself and never be known as an individual but as the other half of a set. By my junior year, I decided to make a change for the better and to be more positive. I began to realize that belittling my brother to make me look better just made me look worse because people think of us as the same person. I started to use that as motivation to make me be a better brother and person in general. I embraced being a twin and realized making him look good made me look good as well, so I became more positive and helped him get better at his weaknesses and he helped me get better at mine so that we could become the best version of ourselves individually, but also together. I stopped worrying about what everyone else thought of me. I became focused on becoming closer to the people who really cared about me and knew me for who I really am. Looking back, all of my arguments and struggles with my brother made me push myself to be the best version of myself and I will always be thankful for the lessons he taught me.