Personal Essay
In my 17 years of life, there have been a limited number of circumstances where I have felt completely comfortable being unapologetically myself. I often find myself overanalyzing how every person will perceive what I do at any given time. This is also part of the reason why I have gotten into the habit of getting my assignments done early — so that I won’t compare myself to others and second guess my own work. However, I never feel this way when I am with my family. My parents and younger sister, Riley, have always been my best friends and are truly the only people in the world who I know I can talk to about anything. I’ve always been told that as teenage girls, there will be a time when Riley and I won’t want to talk or hang out with our parents as much and will prefer going out to social events on Saturday nights, but I am still waiting for that time to come. I am the most unapologetically myself when I am with my family.
As an extension of my immediate family, I am lucky enough to have three sets of grandparents. When my dad was told that he would be moving from New York to Texas in high school, his best friend’s parents decided to take him in for his final years of high school to avoid changing schools. Out of all of my extended families, I am most close with these people. I have traveled across the world with my family of thirteen, and this is when I feel the most alive. As a natural introvert, I am typically exhausted after being around people for long periods of time, partly because it requires substantial effort for me to constantly be conscious of how I am being viewed by the people around me. This sensation of exhaustion does not come when I am with my crazy family of thirteen though, and I value the time I have with them more than ever.
I am particularly close with Riley and my girl cousins: Kate and Celia. The four of us always share a room when we travel; we share clothes, tastes in music, favorite movies, and practically everything. Being the oldest of the four of us, I love feeling like I have three little sisters to give advice to and hang out with. We can all be our authentic, weird, amazing selves with each other, whether that be when we quote entire episodes of The Office together or make up dances to songs at one in the morning or get poison ivy looking for the best sticks to roast marshmallows or belt the lyrics to the entire Frozen soundtrack. All of these seemingly childish activities give me so much joy, and it reminds me of all the fun I had doing these same activities as a kid. I don’t think about the fact that I am a 17 year old who still enjoys dancing in the rain or singing Disney songs at the top of my lungs — it is genuinely one of my favorite things in the world when I am with my cousins.
Out of the four of us, only Riley and I are related by blood because Celia is adopted, but they are more family to me than most of my blood relatives, and they are also my best friends. Even though Kate and Celia are 1,600 miles away from Riley and me, I always look forward to our weekly FaceTime calls; I look forward to being myself. At the same time, I am aware that this is the last year before I go to college, away from my family. I know that I am going to adjust and hopefully find my niche, but I am simultaneously reminded of how lucky I am to have such great people in my life. I’ve been told that you don’t know you’re in the “good old days” until you leave them, but I know that I’m in them, so I feel more pressure to soak it all up. I am planning on doing so by allowing myself to actually be myself more. I am still learning and growing, but I know that I have great people with me.
