Why I Write
The question, “why I write,” is more complex than it might seem. To answer this I have to go back to a simpler time in my life.
As an illiterate six year old going into first grade I despised my classmates for possessing the ability to read and write. My teacher told me I was just a slow learner and would “catch up eventually,” but that just made me feel worse. I was ashamed of every writing assignment I completed, and even with the help of a patient teacher my improvement was modest. I was stubborn at that age and instead of taking the positive criticism, I shut down completely. I ended up hating reading and writing because I was so far behind my peers and embarrassed about my lack of intelligence. But, as always, my teacher was right. I soon began to understand what I was reading and I could write short sentences. Eventually, I even caught up with my classmates.
By early middle school, my hatred of writing lingered and I only wrote when I had to. By this time I was an above-average writer with a big imagination and passion for math who could suffer through an essay every now and then. However, my interests changed rapidly in my later middle school years. With the introduction of technology and social media to my generation, many things changed. By eighth grade, everyone in my class had phones and was on every social media platform available. Growing up my parents were very strict so I was not allowed to get a phone at that young age. After the introduction of technology to my classmates, they shifted their focus to their virtual lives and I was left behind. At lunch and in class the other kids were so enthralled by their phones they would hardly look up from them. I felt as though I was alone because I could not interact with them through that new and exciting virtual world. I became a loner and, similar to my friends I joined my own new world. I started writing down my thoughts instead of explaining them out loud. The more I wrote the more I realized how much I truly loved writing. When I first started writing I mainly wrote fictional stories and grand tales using my imagination. These stories were a way for me to escape the loneliness of the real world and they helped me pass the time and keep my boredom away. Most importantly, these stories helped me believe I had a voice. I would always incorporate my opinions on controversial topics and school drama into my stories because I felt as though if I told other people my opinion they would disagree with me.
Luckily, by high school, I started to mature and reach out of my comfort zone of solitude. I started to make more friends and become slightly more outgoing. Finally, by my junior year of high school, my parents allowed me to get social media. To most, this might seem trivial, but to me, it was life-changing. I felt like I could finally connect with society. I had much more confidence and a newfound extroverted personality. In the first few months, I loved this virtual world where I could do whatever I wanted. This stage of my life did not last long. I realized that social media was not everything and that the real world was much more important. I soon got back to my roots and slowed down on my internet usage and started using pen and paper again. I picked up my hobby of writing to share my emotions instead of peer pressure posting opinions on social media. And now as a senior, I’ve learned to balance my virtual world, my writing world, and the real world. Now I write when I am frustrated about something. Writing makes me feel that I can fully express myself and my opinions without getting attacked for posting it online or letting my emotions build up in my head. I realized that writing is one of the best ways for letting out my stress and emotions without getting criticized by others.
