Why I Write
I am a writer but not in a professional way. I write for myself when it isn’t for school. I rarely ever write for the public. In fact, this is the first time my writing is in a place where anyone can access it. I am usually hesitant to share my words and feelings with others but writing to myself can help me understand who I am. I am talking about journaling of course. Ever since I was a little girl, I would write my sadness and frustrations onto those pages. I was shy and didn’t talk through how I felt. I was upset we had moved from Wisconsin to Texas and needed an outlet. I was uncomfortable with attention. I didn’t want to be judged by others, even my parents. I just didn’t find talking the best way for me to communicate through my emotions. Because of this, I found writing as a way to lay down how I truly felt without a filter over it. My journal meant my words and feelings. The impact that resulted from journaling my feelings was significant. I felt relief and a release of the pressure building in me. Writing helped me to organize myself even when I wasn’t sure why I was writing. I was mostly a happy person but the sad parts had a greater impact on me sometimes. I wouldn’t only write about my sadness and anger, I would write about significant events and more joyful feelings. A cousin’s engagement, a trip to Canada, an award for playing my french horn. I would document these accomplishments and life changing memories so that I will be able to look back on them. I didn’t realize it when I was younger but I am an extremely nostalgic person. I love thinking back on times when I would go on adventures with my sister or help make a special meal with my grandma. I would consider myself an old soul and with that, I love recalling certain events in my life and stuff that made me really happy. Sometimes though, being so nostalgic can be a burden when it makes you melancholy looking back and wishing you were living in a different time, a time more similar to your younger years. On the other hand, as someone who journals, I am allowed to be nostalgic and look back at how far I have come and all that I have accomplished. Looking back at my writing helps me to see my growth as a writer and as a person. All these experiences formed and shaped who I am today. As a young adult, I understand myself so much better because of the opportunity writing has given me to analyze my words and feelings looking in. I truly believe that writing can be a form of personal therapy to help you through your emotions but to also document events, both significant and trivial, in your life.
In addition to enjoying journaling my feelings, I always loved writing for school. I took a creative writing class sophomore year that brought me back to how I used to write in elementary school when you would walk into class and see a simple prompt on the board. Creative writing allowed me to tap into the creative side of my mind and have a curiosity for an idea I wanted to write about. Creative writing was a way for me to see my imagination come to life through words and clever grammar. Writing brought back the curiosity I have of my own mind. The prompts were not challenging but made me think of ways to portray what I was envisioning in my mind. I also enjoyed, as silly as it seems, writing structured essays in school. I always felt a sense of accomplishment being able to complete the prompt and write my opinion on an essay or come up with ideas to compare two characters from two very different books. School essays gave me a chance to apply what I had learned and structure it in an essay that would earn me, hopefully, a good grade. It was always satisfying seeing an essay go through the draft phase to a fully typed, Times New Roman, 12 point font essay. The completion of an essay is much like learning a skill in math class, going home, and being able to apply the right equations and plugging in the right numbers in a problem. There is a sense of satisfaction and joy I get from seeing the finished product work out and being happy with the end result.
To conclude, the main reasons I have found myself writing are to release my emotions, be able to look back on events, challenge my mind to see what I can come up with, and to feel a sense of accomplishment in my work. Writing serves different purposes for each person but to me, writing is personal and is a form of expression in my life. It allows me to tell my story without it being judged by others. I am important in my writing because my writing is my story. Though I am quiet and intentional with my words, I am expressive and real in my writing.
#WhyIWrite
