Tinder, changing the way we think about sex
Tinder is an extremely straightforward application: a series of photographs on a screen that you can either move to the right or left, depending on whether you are interested in them or not. If two people both like each other, they are sent a message and can then text through the application.
Using Tinder is very easy and pleasant, because it converts the whole process of personal relationships into a game. Writing about it is not so easy though: it is hard to do so without using stereotypes, bias, and socially rooted ideas about what one believes personal relationships should be about. Which is why I was so impressed with a long article in Vanity Fair called “Tinder and the dawn of the dating apocalypse”, which looks at the impact on society of Tinder, the best-known, but far from being the only app of its kind. It might sound like an exaggeration, but the article goes so far as to put the adoption of these kinds of dating apps on the same level as mankind’s decision to settle during the Neolithic age, a process that led to the creation of family structures built around a couple that is still the basis of modern society.
Tinder belongs to IAC, one of the biggest and most diversified conglomerates on the internet, and belongs to the same division that includes similar apps such as Match.com, Meetic, OkCupid, and SpeedDate.com. Following its launch in 2011 through “selective seeding” at several US universities, Tinder won TechCrunch’s Crunchie Award for the best startup of 2013, and its global expansion has now reached some 50 million downloads, with more than 1.6 billion finger movements to the left or right on photographs of users, and 26 million mutual likes in 196 countries. The demographics are important: the bulk of users (45 percent) are aged between 25 and 34, that said, 38 percent are aged between 16 and 24, while 14 percent are from the 35 to 44 age group. The majority of users are men (62 percent), and they live in cities. There is some controversy over the company’s valuation: following a story that was denied putting its worth at $5 billion, these days its value is being put much lower, while bearing in mind that we are possibly looking at a something that could be a phenomenon in terms of adoption.
Basically, the idea behind Tinder is that although we talk about sex between two consenting adults, people know what they’re getting into, which significantly reduces the fear of rejection and the need to invest time in warm up. Combined with a extremely superficial approach based on game psychology that reduces everything to whether you like the person in the photograph and they’re the right age (although other data is available, such as their Instagram profile or shared contacts), and its recommendations are sourced from Facebook, Tinder creates a much more direct transition from “meeting somebody” to “meeting somebody to have sex with.”
Obviously there is no obligation to have sex, but there is a very clear assumption that the other person hasn’t ruled this out, although how things finally go are still largely dependent on cultural and sexual stereotypes. Most users tend to see Tinder as something that trivializes sex, and that the more you use it, the more you will get into “easy sex”. The app has created its own culture, and with its own stereotypes, but that marks an important change in the social dynamics surrounding something as significant as relationships and sex.
Tinder’s sole founder, Whitney Wolfe, left the company under a cloud in July of last year, accusing her male colleagues of open sexism, and set up her own app, Bumble, which aims to empower women users (they decide whether to begin a conversation, while men can only ask for an extension, hoping that the woman will engage. Similar apps, such as Grindr, are focused on the gay and bisexual community.
Tinder and other dating apps are now very much with us, and continue to grow in popularity. They are contributing to a change in attitudes about how relationships can work. Utilitarian, they appeal to people looking for a much more straightforward approach to relationships, and seem to be taking root in society, potentially driving change and the creation of a new system of sexual values, with all that such a transformation might bring.
(En español, aquí)
