What fear shapes us?
And what can we shape when we shed our fears?
What would happen if 25 people went into the woods and made a mask that represented their most deep-seated fear? And if we then wore that mask for the rest of the night, showing our most vulnerable selves to the world? What could happen if we then, one at a time, opened up to our co-workers and shared the fears that shape us? And what if, finally, we tossed our masks into the fire, purging our collective fears? Who could those 25 people walking out the forest now be?
Our yearly enso retreats have purposefully been about something other than the state of enso: we’ve scripted, filmed and edited a movie in one night (no, you can’t see it); wheat-pasted a giant mural beautifying the banks of the LA river (which nearly got us arrested by a stripper cop); and gotten intimate with complete strangers, interviewing residents of 29 Palms about their life stories, Humans of NY -style.
This fall, we turned inwards, to the humans of enso. Our retreat was all about us, as people, not as colleagues: What fear shapes you? What does it look like? And what does it look like when you — and we as a collective — shed that mask, and let go of our fears?
As a mission-driven impact studio, we believe fearless creativity is a world-shaping force; it can scale existing solutions and positive impact exponentially. That’s why we needed to face our deepest fears as individuals, together. Shedding our fears, how much more can we achieve for the world — and for ourselves? What can we now shape together?
Camp Fear: What fear will you toss into the fire?
For Camp Fear, we only needed to bring two essentials: the fear that defines us — a fear each one of us was struggling with and wanted to move past — and a bathing suit (which could be the most scary part for some of us).
The night’s agenda was simple: Shape your fear, wear your fear, purge your fear — then move beyond both our own and collective fears. What followed was more transformative than we could have planned for.
“What does your fear look like?” is not a question we often get — or get to do anything with. Becoming aware of, naming and recognizing a fear that defines us, is hard enough. Whether we are aware of it or not, we wear our fears as invisible masks: between us and the world; us and our loved ones; us and our dreams; us and ourselves. The act of shaping our fears into tangible objects, making them into masks, turned our fears from a no-thing, a stomach-knotting abstraction, to a some-thing that we could experience, own, wear, examine — and discard.
Surprisingly, seeing our fears take shape turned out to be a delightful afternoon of arts&crafts and beer&banter. Wearing our fear masks became an instant short-cut to intimate vulnerability: it gave anyone permission to walk up to anyone and guess what their mask represented — observations that were equally hilarious and astute, miles-off and too-close-to-comfort. And if you’ve never watched the sun set over the Pacific Ocean together with 20-odd co-workers wearing their fears on their faces, it’s a surreal, delightful and oddly profound experience.
Burning our fears: A circle of love
“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. I use the word “love” here not merely in the personal sense but as a state of being, or a state of grace — not in the infantile American sense of being made happy but in the tough and universal sense of quest and daring and growth.” — James Baldwin, The Fire Next Time
As I walked away from the fire pit on Thursday I night, I was overwhelmed with a sense of deep reverence for all of you, and feeling so honored by the bravery, willingness and authenticity brought by everyone to the fire. I have been around the block a couple times, and I can’t tell you how exceedingly rare it is to experience what we all experienced in each other in those powerful couple of hours. I felt so proud that together we have created the kind of place, on every level, where that kind of honesty and intimacy can safely emerge.
— Kirk Souder, all-enso email
What happened in the circle around the fire? That’s the part of the night that we can’t share with anyone who wasn’t there. What we can share is that we all named our fear, all told the story of our fear for the fire and to each other, shared fears we’d kept to ourselves — and from ourselves — for years. Fears only recently voiced to our significant others. Fears that when counted collectively, had dragged us down and held us back surer than gravity. And fears that, all, were met with love.
During mask-making, we also made armbands to wear as we moved beyond fear. We inscribed our bands with words that had most helped each one of us to overcome past fears. And as we, one by one, shed our masks, anyone who had something to share from their own experience, words that could equip and arm each other in conquering our fear, gave their band away. This way, everyone left the fire wearing a tangible reminder of the courage and love that we collectively created; our collective wisdom helping us chart our collective towards fear-less-ness.
We can also share how, after all masks were shed, burnt to ash, met with cry heaves and hugs and laughs and love and love and love, we all looked at each other and we all saw something different: all looked different in our everyday faces, now fearless.
Work beyond fear: Let’s foster a culture of vulnerability
Leaving the forest, who can those 25 people now be? What can this newfound openness means for how we work together every day? How can Camp Fear become not a-once-in-a-year event but a-once-in-a-week-or-a-day event? And what does work beyond fear look like? Not as a mask, but as a practice?
Can the intimacy that we all co-created be accessed in our day-to-day and change how we approach each other, our partners, our impact? Can it help rid ourselves of ingrained assumptions of how we work and guide us towards something that’s less like a workplace and more like the family we proved ourselves to be? How can we, now a fearless collective, harness our new shared vulnerability as a tool for creating world value?
We don’t know yet. But we do know we’re not afraid to try.
enso is a creative impact agency.
We work with innovative companies and organizations to create positive impact at scale through shared missions. Learn more at enso.co.
