10 “Cold Email” Insights for the Anxious

Sending cold emails can be intimidating (especially if you’re a rabbit-hole-er like myself), but there is one solid truth to pushing past the nerves: what have you got to lose? If they say no or don’t respond, you’re in exactly the same place, but if you take a chance and they say yes, who knows the possibilities. That sounds dramatic however, in my recent experiences, the “possibilities” have ranged from new industry insights, necessary feedback on a game, and a surprise local connection for a future coffee date. (Masks included.)

Scenario 1: the Industry

I’ll just say it up front: I loathe networking. It makes me feel awkward and, a vast majority of the time, it feels disingenuous. The fact is though, that as a graduate student, a big part of the education is networking. For me, I had to get over the feeling of imposition. I’m asking for someone’s time and, in the era of Covid, the people I’m asking to “meet” don’t even get a free coffee out of it! I found that staying a little more casual and offering up flexibility or a socially distanced activity allowed for me to relax, feeling like it was more mutually beneficial.

5 Things I learned when cold-connecting with people in the industry

1. Be Genuine. (Reference back to the horrendousness of traditional networking.) By being interested and interesting, you can find honest ways to connect, making the conversation flow naturally.
2. Don’t copy and paste. Curate your request to the person. Ask yourself why you’re really needing their time — don’t do it just to do it. Which leads me to…
3. Have questions ready. While you may become buddies in the future, you’re not friends getting together to gab this time. Have a purpose. Sometimes the purpose is to simply connect but, if that’s the case, make sure you are connecting with them because you want to connect with them and not their title.
4. Respect the time. If the call is set for 15/30/45 minutes, be the one to close up on time. It comes down to respect, don’t milk them for everything they have. If you have more to ask, send a follow up email with your burning questions. They’re doing you a favor, stick the agreed plan. (If the call goes over, and they have the time, that’s ok too — as long as it’s mutual. Don’t be the guy who doesn’t know when to quit.)
5. Say thank you. A quick email to say thank you with a small personal reference to the conversation shows them you recognize their time is valuable and that you paid attention, making it a good investment.

Truthfully, I learned lessons four and five because I failed at them, learning them in hindsight. It takes me a moment to relax when meeting someone new so I can easily lose track of time. In a recent call, I hadn’t realized that we’d gone over three minutes and as I was trying to hurry a goodbye, the caller had to rush off mid-sentence to catch a client call. I don’t have a by-the-minute calendar but my connection did. Point is, never assume you have more time than allotted. They schedule/squeeze you in when their calendars allow.

Thank you notes are something I always think about and (this is embarrassing to admit) rarely follow through on. I will mentally compose it in my post-meeting moment and not “put it to paper.” I appreciate it when I receive them and, not only is it polite, but it keeps the connection in memory.

Scenario 2: User Testing

When it comes to user testing, I have a smaller hurdle to overcome in regards to nerves when reaching out to people. For whatever reason, Hey! I have this cool thing you may like to try! is easier than Hey! Can you tell me about your role/company/career path? It’s still not easy to find people for user testing though. Especially as a student. During a pandemic. Luckily, the specific project I was working on has over 426.1k hashtag uses. After scrolling (and scrolling and scrolling) to find potential users, I found these tricks to have the best responses:

5 Things I learned when cold-connecting with people for user testing

1. I’m going to double up here: Be Genuine. People want to feel special, not like they’re being spammed. Copy and pasting is ok here as long as you curate elements to each person you reach out to. (You don’t need to creatively restate your project each time but you do need to acknowledge the individual — even if only by using their name.)
2. Give all the information up front: what is it, what’s it for, what’s the goal. Users want to know all the factors — even down to how is my email going to be used. Don’t play cat and mouse, get down to business.
3. State you want all their feedback, good and bad. Letting people know they can be honest makes them more apt to follow up. For user testing, if they don’t like it, great! It gives you specific places to focus and grow! Letting people know you value all their opinions generates better feedback overall.
4. Follow up & follow through. People get busy and sometimes need a reminder. You’re not irritating them, it’s just a nudge. If you don’t get responses you can’t reiterate. It’s worth the extra email.
5. Believe in your product/service/system. This is overarching. If you have confidence in what you’re researching/looking for feedback on, that faith will resonate with the people you’re reaching out to. Even if the idea isn’t fleshed out (and it isn’t, that’s why you’re user testing) the core purpose of the concept is and that’s where the excitement is generated from. Excitement = engagement.

As someone who gets anxious about the vast possibility of outcomes, these reminders helped me keep a level head when trudging through the nerve-wracking task of asking people for their time or feedback. At the very end of the day, it comes down to self-confidence. Knowing that someone doesn’t have time to squeeze you into their calendar has little to do with who you are and mostly to do with their busy schedule, and negative feedback on a product doesn’t have to do with chastising your character, only the gaps in the product.

I know it’s easier said than done but, when cold emailing, be bold. For as many things as you’re imagining can go wrong, just as many can go right!