I have this bad habit when it comes to summarising a concise and cogent email to my bosses. In an over-zealous attempt to shove as much information as possible, I would sneakily make use of my handy pal, the parentheses, to plant additional information insidiously in the main text. I gleefully think that the reader would probably be under the illusion that he or she is reading a well-written piece of report, straight to the point, cutting to the chase without realising that the volume of text read would in fact, had almost been the same if I have omitted these parentheses and made what were supposed to be “additional” information — to be part of the actual text instead.

By now, it’s not difficult to see why and when people use parentheses in their writings. In fact, I could purport a couple of reasons that may not be grammatically-driven. Even though the official use of parentheses seems to suggest to us that there are always “opportunities” for us to elaborate on our points even though by reflecting the additional information in the main text would somehow render a piece of writing verbose. I can’t help but also think that the parentheses also offer relief to anyone who is really bad in summarising a piece of passage or simply, just too indecisive in discarding or retaining information that should or should not be in the main text or whose lexicon just isn’t adequately evolved to be able to substitute phrases and ideas with mere words that would have otherwise, also convey the same meaning as those phrases.

Let’s dive a little deeper to deconstruct what goes into the parentheses. Are those information just supplementary in nature, good- to- know kind of information? Not necessarily though. Have you ever had to clarify someone’s comment or a particular statement or phrase or even modify the style of expression in a piece of writing? If yes, you might have inserted parenthetical remarks to bring forth the much needed clarity or modification. The written piece might not be more polished than before but it surely would have helped in accurately conveying the intended message across to the reader.

Well, whoever invented this so-called inconspicuous parentheses to convey additional information or elaboration required to sharpen the intended message across to the reader probably knew a thing or two regarding how humans perceive the notion of “bracketing” words. It depends on how you approach this. For me, sometimes the brackets are like God-sent opportunities for me to add and clarify; to say the things I need to say, yet these things shouldn’t be said in the main text as most readers might consider them insignificant to take up their precious capacity in reading them. These readers can make an informed choice on whether they want to read what you have to say in the brackets or they can just simply skip them, reading just the main text to get a grasp of what they think they need or ought to know and be knowing. Some discerning readers might either be doubtful or even curious about what exactly goes on behind the scene when they come across certain ideas or information presented to them in brevity. For instance, the demographic profile of the respondents from which the survey results were derived from in a brief abstract of a market research report or what a colloquial phrase exactly means.

So, I have been going on and on about the perceived ‘wonderful’ uses of parentheses in writing. What has it got to do with potentially ‘altering’ lives? It doesn’t, if we take it quite literally. But if you get to author your life story, won’t you be excited about the prospect of being able to keep inserting parenthetical remarks over and over knowing very well that you cannot really erase your past and your past will somehow influence your present and your future as well? Sure, we all heard about people telling us that it is possible to “re-write our stories” and I’m not disputing this since, from a macro perspective, it does make sense since what has happened to you in the past does not necessarily correlates and direct your present and your future. What I am saying is this — were there instances in your past where you thought you could have clarified a little more, fight a little more, defend a little more or voice out a little more? And by doing so, it could have altered your life course, saved you from unnecessary heartaches or even to reclaim justice?

I think that some of us really see our past as chapters that have been concluded, done and dusted, destined to be stacked away somewhere into the abyss of our memories. I’m not even talking about the ‘distant’ past. In fact, think about a ‘recent’ past; an event that just happened or perhaps, is ongoing as you read on. Do you really think that it’s too late for you to say something, to interject and say what you need to say, what you need to voice out or what you need to clarify? Or do you think that there is no way you can ever defend yourself anymore or no one is really going to listen to you or believe you anymore? Or perhaps, you are still foolishly hoping that the perpetrator or whoever you are dealing with will somehow understand what you meant, your intentions and empathise with you through (ahem) “telepathy” (pardon me for being corny)?

And therefore, you choose to keep silent. You choose not to insert any parenthesis in your story.

When I was doing my Master’s degree in the Social Sciences, I remembered vividly how one of my professors kept drumming into us an idea which I found rivetingly odd back then. A few of my classmates and I had decided to embark on critical discourse analysis for our capstone paper and we were so excited about going out to run interviews with people; to TALK to people. After all, you need to get the transcript, the texts for further analysis. Basically, we were just so engrossed with the idea of getting our interviewees to speak, to voice out their thoughts — what they were happy with, what they were upset about, how they would like to improve the situation etc. So, needless to say, I spent much of my time perfecting the interview questions and I was all raring to go. The first couple of interviews went pretty well, at least, they fitted my expectation or how I would have expected the interviews to turn out. Not with the remaining though. I sheepishly suspected the interviewees to be mute or deaf. They either didn’t talk much or they just cruelly end your questions with an absolute “yes” or “no”. Absolutely no way to squeeze out a decent transcript of spoken text from them.

I think I must have felt miserable then. So, my ever-brilliant professor came by and told me, “in fact, the most powerful piece of evidence that would corroborate closely with the realities is often embedded in the unspoken word”. I almost went berserk with a, “What?” Now, you are talking to someone who has devoted all her life (at least up to the undergraduate level) studying the natural sciences and spending her days in the laboratory cultivating friendly bacteria culture. My DNA screams “evidence-based” in almost everything I do, my decision-making, my logical reasoning and now, my professor was telling me that I’m not going to hear anything and that SILENCE is going to be the most powerful piece of evidence ever. And yes, the discourses of the society comprises the narratives and rhetoric that are being talked about often, as pretexts to more deeper issues that are entrapped in the unseen, the unheard, the unfelt and the unspoken.

I don’t profess to know exactly why many words or thoughts that could have been expressed went unexpressed. Perhaps, you did, once or twice, tried to sound out. But these words went like dead leaves, scattered to the ground before it reaches the person who is supposed to be your ‘listener’. Or perhaps, the words reached your ‘hearer’, but he or she didn’t really listen, they just simply heard it and hence, you remained stuck in your situation. Sometimes, you might be searching for the courage, that octane fuel to propel you to speak out in the face of perceived threats. In some cases, you just cannot find the right word, the right way to express exactly what you want to say, especially when you are consumed by a myriad of emotions that robbed you of your ability to articulate your pains with precision. This is almost similar when your well-meaning but impatient buddy keeps pressing you to describe with precision and accuracy the exact type and nature of tummy pain you are experiencing! It can be a sharp pain, a dull pain, a throbbing pain, but I just find that our man-made lexicon can sometimes be so limited in enabling us to express the various shades of emotions flooding our hearts. This is especially so when we are so oxymoronic too. For instance, we can be enjoying a ‘guilty pleasure’ or experiencing a “bitter-sweet” moment.

I guess the worst way to ‘artificially silence’ someone is through a deliberate and protracted process of ‘gaslighting’. Through ‘gaslighting’, the perpetrator not only seeks to discredit the victim but also seeks to plant ‘doubting thoughts’ by oscillating between affirmation and blame through insinuations or slandering, hidden amidst the occasional affections and praises. Exactly like how the psychological thriller film released in 1944, Gaslight portraying how a woman was manipulated by her husband into believing that she is going insane because she couldn’t explained why she kept seeing the gaslights ‘flicker’ in the house. In actual fact, her husband had tempered with the attic lights to stage the entire act.

So, can you insert a parenthesis today to at least, attempt to dispel what others may think about you? Or even if you have gotten it all wrong others’ perception about you, at least you have done yourself a great favour by labelling yourself with the ‘authentic and correct label’. Don’t give others a chance to label you instead. I’m not asking you to wear all your thoughts and emotions on your sleeves but at least, don’t just stay silent or be agreeable with others’ assessment of you when you are truly not what they have made you out to be. Yes, we secretly hope that everyone around us can be sensitive and perceptive creatures, cutting us some slack here and there. Yet, we have to sometimes come to terms with the fact that not everyone is going to and will make the effort to unearth what’s really going on beneath your skin. And that’s partly why people brand and position themselves as well. That said, we need to also exercise wisdom and humility to say what is needed and to say it only at the moment when needed.

Stop putting yourself on mute. Be prepared to insert parentheses to clarify your thoughts, to clarify your actions to others. Not only can you try to influence others perception about you; most importantly, you can at least find peace with yourself by breaking the silence.