A Test Told Me More Than I Thought I Knew About Myself
Thanks to a coworker, I found out about a “personality test” commonly used in psychology and recruitment. Even though she explained what it was about, I doubted that a simple test could provide any hints about someone’s personality. Skeptical but undeniably curious, I decided to ask her to share it with me; I wanted to see what it was all about.
Upon arriving home and getting comfortable, I opened my email and read the instructions. I made sure to answer as honestly as possible, trying to prioritize my instinctive responses and ensuring I didn’t overthink each answer. I tried to follow my instincts, assuming that this would lead me to a definition of my personality, although I considered it impossible for the test to be accurate.
Although I don’t remember how many questions there were, I know it took me almost an hour to complete it, and finally, I got the result:
“Neurotic Personality.”
Neurotic personality? Seriously? My immediate reaction was to reject this result. I thought, “Of course, I’m not neurotic.” My mind was trying to make sense of what I considered, at that moment, to be “being neurotic” and my personality. Nothing aligned; “this test must be wrong, or maybe I didn’t answer the questions correctly” — I told myself.
Thinking that a test couldn’t define me and that we are much more complex to be defined by a list of questions, I tried to leave the matter there. I didn’t want to delve into it further, but, even if I wanted to, I simply couldn’t ignore it. I couldn’t accept it.
I went to my good friend Google to investigate a bit more about this personality trait. I just wanted to make sure my suspicions were correct, that there was nothing in me resembling a neurotic personality…
The browser showed no mercy and, without any filter, threw all the results I asked for. The neurotic personality type seemed to have my name and identification number on every line. Each description seemed to have been written by an intimate friend.
Every article about neuroticism was describing me.
Like a neurotic, I became obsessed. I spent hours and hours on the computer reading about the traits that define this personality. Trying to understand something that, for me, didn’t make sense, although, as I read, I realized that it made complete sense. It was both shocking and revealing.
That test was necessary to start the process of introspection that has led me to question my deepest beliefs, re-learn, and self-discover.
This moment opened a path that I never imagined would lead me to where I am today. It has taken me through a process of self-awareness that wouldn’t have been possible before that day. Inadvertently, a simple test marked a before and after, removed a blindfold, and helped me find answers I didn’t know I was seeking.
Today, I can say that I accept that I am neurotic, and I am embracing every part of myself. I no longer try to deny or hide it. On the contrary, I go hand in hand with every trait, every detail, with what is good and what is not.
Every aspect is what makes me who I am.
Yes, I am neurotic, but now, I am a self-aware one.
