In recent days, more students are looking for help to overcome their pressure and anxiety. Most of the schools in urban cities have counsellors to address the problem faced by the students. However, most of the schools in India over 90% do not have such supporting systems. Some teachers take necessary care towards those students to bring back their focus towards the subject. They earnestly hope to bring back them normal.
Exam Fear, Parental Pressure, Peer Pressure and Anxiety are a few reasons why students get into a depressive state. Students need a support system to win over this state on a periodical way. Stress about exams and marks are normal across the students, and most parents make it more intense unknowingly. Students need psychological help from counsellors and experts to find a way to balance their study with stress and anxiety.
During my last session on Emotional Intelligence program specially designed for students in a school, a student walks to me and said “I am one of the top ten students in my school and never stressed about my board exams, very high expectations from my parents makes me ended up with huge stress. I am well prepared for my exams, but my parents are always behind me and follow up on my subject almost now and then. This increased my stress and decreased my confidence to a great extent. I do not know whether I can perform my exam well and become a topper in the school”.
Doctors and counsellors are on the same page here and say that exam stress is very common among students, parental pressure and their high expectations add fuel to the students’ anxiety. Parents should understand and be a supportive soul to their children to overcome stress and anxiety. It is not to stop pressuring them, it is all about how the entire family can become a support system for them and make them perform well in their exam with a better state of mind.
Over a discussion with some of the teachers and principals, they also do their best to keep their students cool and never forget to light them up on the fact and necessity of exam and its outcome.
Students should learn or practice on mental well-being to decode their pressure, stress and anxiety. Let us find the way out, how to manage this situation and it is very crucial for every student.
1. Have an ear to listen
Students don’t always need advice. Sometimes all they need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand them. Many students call helpline numbers published by the examination board to help students to handle their exam-related stress and anxiety. Increasing call no every year proves it explicit that there is an increase in pressure and stress among the students. It adds up more when their parents compare their children with others. Parents should talk to their children with open-mindedness to understand their children problem or stress they undergo. They need someone to listen. This simple action becomes a major stress buster for them.
During my daughter’s final schooling, she came and asked for help in mathematics on a few topics. I took her to a maths expert to guide her and it worked.
2. Early Signs of Stress and Anxiety
Stress and anxiety can be easily identified in its earlier stage. It is very important to connect with every student individually as we need to understand what they are going through. Few students understand their problem where many children do not know what they are getting into. It is fine to be feeling negative or feeling anxious as it is a part of life. The key is we need to know how to handle it. Practising Emotional Intelligence will help them to a greater extent. If you find a problem or an issue first accept it. It is a major step forward to correct yourself and ask for help from counsellors or experts.
3. Provide Advice from the Third Party
Many a time, students hesitate to share their feeling with their parents. Taking specialized counsellors help is a better choice. When they involve in the whole process, students feel comfortable and outbursts their emotions easily with them than their parents. A simple conversation between them turns out as a great solution for complicated issues as we think.
When I had a conversation with one of the final year student at college who is sharing a room in the hostel explained that the way his roommate is studying loudly makes him more annoyed. Change of a room is a simple solution but it becomes completed as he thinks how his roommate will react or feel if he changes the room. At one point, we need to leave something behind to move forward.
4. Not Able to Choose Their Desired Course
In context with the Indian Scenario, parents live their kid’s life what they craved in their own life. More than 90% of students choose the field of study recommended by others. Students fail to choose their field of interest because of their family or social pressure. During my conversation with a model in an event, I found that she was a medical dropout. On further discussion, I found that when she opts for a fashion career after her schooling, the principal forced her to choose medicine as she was a topper in her school. Parents, teachers, neighbours, friends every one forced her to take medicine. She followed their wish and took medicine. She miserably failed and unable to complete as she couldn’t show interest in the subject. She went into depression and finally with the help of a counsellor she managed to come out. She chose her passion as her career and become one of the leading models in the industry.
5. Never Compare Your Children with Others, They are Unique
We need to live in the world of traditional study and exam methods as it is part of our lives. Every student undergoes pressure irrespective of being topper or average in their study. Comparing them with others will aggravate it further. We cannot compare people as they are a separate human being with different emotions, feelings, knowledge, thought, wish, environment and lifestyle. We accept that there is so much competitiveness here and we should make sure that it shouldn’t give a negative impact on them.
In students life, IQ is important to achieve success and holds you in good stead when it comes to technical or hard skills, it is the presence of Emotional Quotient (EQ) or Emotional Intelligence that will support you when you face hard times.
The role played by emotional intelligence or EQ is highly crucial. By learning the skills associated with emotional intelligence, students can learn to tackle and considerably reduce the amount of stress in their lives. Managing one’s emotions is the single big factor in achieving a stress-free environment.
Finally, I wish to say that achieving is a final destination and that is your end of the aim. Life is a journey and you still have the chance to pursue it. Life is open and welcomes you always at any given point of time.
Connect with me to know more on Emotional Intelligence.
© Rajalingam Rathinam 2020
Rajalingam Rathinam, is a serial entrepreneur, Founder of ABERAME, ACADEMICALAYA, EQFINITY, GLOBAL VIRTUAL QA, STUDIO974. He is a certified emotional intelligence coach and Founder of EQ coaching and consulting firm EQFINITY. He helps many people to achieve infinite growth through Emotional Intelligence and operates from India, Hong Kong, Australia, and the United States.