I Promise, It’s Not Lame to Ask a Woman for Permission

Six years ago, Dave Booda was accused of rape. He didn’t defend himself — instead, here’s what happened.

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By Dave Booda

Six years ago a woman accused me of rape.

Here’s the story. I met a woman in Houston while on tour as a musician. We exchanged numbers and when I came back to town a few years later I looked her up. We met for food, then went back to her place and decided to have sex.

Actually, I assume we decided to have sex because clothes were coming off and body parts were being pushed together, but there was never any words exchanged, or verbal confirmation that we both wanted to have sex. I simply made a move, and she didn’t say no.

I leaned in for a kiss, she didn’t say no.

I put my hands on her breasts, she didn’t say no.

I reached down her pants, she didn’t say no.

I went through the motions, all the way up to and through intercourse, and she didn’t say no, so I assumed she was enjoying herself and everything was good. Then after sex was over (it didn’t take long), she turned to me and said the three words no decent man ever wants to hear.

You raped me.