Embracing our truths: Reflections a year after the death of George Floyd
BLOG SERIES
Last May the death of George Floyd stung many across the country and around the world. Although incidents of racial injustice are not novel, the timing of Floyd’s murder in the midst of a global pandemic and economic uncertainty brought new pain. Fortunately, they also sparked deeper conversations at home and in the workplace. Like many other companies, we at Equinox Media were challenged to examine our own record both internally and in the larger community we serve. This process has been rewarding, difficult, at times uncomfortable, but necessary. In a 4-part blog series we give you a look into how we at Equinox Media have been affected by the murder of George Floyd as well as how we hope to be a part of affecting longlasting change toward racial justice.
PART ONE
Written/Edited by: Lensay Abadula
On a Monday morning about one year ago I woke up with a heavy heart. It was June 1 and protests had erupted after the tragic murder of George Floyd six days prior. That weekend my family and I joined many New Yorkers and Americans across the country in raising our voices in protest. Feeling drained, I opened my laptop and looked at my calendar to find a day full of job interviews.
At the time I was a design consultant looking for my next opportunity (fortunately, I would find it at Equinox Media). I did my best to prepare for the interviews, but I was distracted with the sound of news playing in the background and calls with family to vent out frustrations. In this back-and-forth I was hit with a constant thought: this is being Black in America. It is feeling like you must have your foot in two different worlds; it is feeling hopeless; it is having to search long and hard for the wherewithal to be presentable over Zoom — all while still having to job search during uncertain times, all while still dealing with a global pandemic and the loss it brings.
The murder of George Floyd, the incidents that have since followed and the many, many that preceded each carry their own magnitude. But these incidents do not happen in a vacuum. They intersect with all of us in different ways and in our own contexts. In kicking off this blog series, we begin with a cross-section of reflections from staff members at Equinox Media on how the incidents of last summer impacted us personally, professionally, and in any way in between.
I have less friends than I thought and less patience than I gave myself credit for. Now, with a baby boy on the way — the pain and helplessness the mothers feel cuts even deeper.
Yana Lusher
Member Experience Associate
On a personal level, this past year has revealed both casual and explicit racist beliefs among people in my social circle. It’s also forced me to confront my own implicit biases. Professionally, it’s started a candid conversation about diversity and inclusion in the workplace that I hope we continue to strive for and make real efforts toward achieving here at Equinox Media.
David Olmos
Senior Visual Designer
It opened my eyes to the systemic problem caused by white privilege and critically white fragility. It’s given me understanding that I never had as to the daily challenges of being Black and generally BIPOC in this country. It’s helped me realize how critical it is to be actively anti-racist. And it’s helped me understand how critical my role as a leader of teams and businesses is to set an example to others, starting at home where I can make a difference. As leaders, it’s our responsibility to create a culture and a safe space for conversation, debate, support and vulnerability. Because if we make a positive difference here, then the impact gets multiplied when we go out into the world outside.
Simon Belsham
President
The death of George Floyd and the following racial justice discourse challenged me to think about and acknowledge the ways in which I was unknowingly perpetuating white supremacist culture daily. The decision to try to actively work against this is now a daily mental check. This crosses all areas of life — from the way in which I try to approach creative briefs on the job, to how I critically assess my own reactions to the world around me as I walk down the street, to how I raise my son. Reminding myself that I have the privilege to “opt-in” to thinking about this is critical.
Jeana Holmes
Art Director
For me, the death of George Floyd hit a little closer to home. Once more details were revealed on the situation and Floyd’s background, I was told that members of his family were frequent visitors of my hometown in North Carolina, and that a few of them sang in the same church choir as my grandmother. It made me realize that this situation could have easily transpired in the same fashion for my family/close friends or myself. It reiterated the importance of utilizing your voice and platform to amplify these events and speak out against racial injustice. When the verdict was determined for the case, I was happy to finally see some form of accountability for unjust acts of violence such as these that normally go unnoticed. Although we have a long way to go, this felt like a first step in the right direction that we should strive for going forward in this country. A small sigh of relief, but an understanding that the work is still cut out for us all.
Michael Smith
Visual Designer
It moved me to create Culture x Community Inc, a non-profit devoted to eradicating racism through grassroots activism, community building and education. While taking action has made me feel empowered, witnessing [Floyd’s] murder and that of Ahmaud Arbery has left an indelible mark on our collective psyche. It is difficult to explain how living through this as a Black person feels, especially during a time of political chaos and COVID trauma. It’s definitely multi-layered.
Stacey Grant-Lewis
Senior Project Manager
For myself it has revealed still to this day how deep-seated racism is in our country’s power systems and how these systems are created to target people solely on race. It has made me way more compassionate to other people’s life journeys and to offer support to those new and who I’ve known my whole life — never really realizing how these events affect their lives. People I’ve known for 20 plus years, we are just now having conversations about race and their experiences.
Chris Delia
Vice President, Design
I was happy to see the protest but had my doubts anything would change as we’ve seen this before. I was happy to see this new administration acknowledged the racial inequities in the country and decided to make it a top priority. Then came the trial and it made me sick to my stomach — just the thought that [George Floyd’s] health was used as a weapon to explain away the murder of a Black man by a white cop. The day of the verdict the fact that we had to wait with baited breath for a guilty sentence was insane. … Although I am happy he was convicted for this murder, THIS TIME, we still have a very long way to go to assure this doesn’t continue to be our story. OUR LIVES MATTER!!!
Earl Grant
Office Experience Manager
These injustices have made me recognize that I’ve been socialized in a racist society, and I need to do my part in unlearning as well as being actively anti-racist. It’s so important for each of us to continue to check ourselves and ask, “How am I unknowingly perpetuating racism?” As an Asian American, it’s also my responsibility to call out friends and family in my community and speak up against anti-blackness. We need to have these difficult conversations and understand that being a “model minority” is a myth and a narrative used to drive a divide between Asian American and Black communities.
There is still so much work to be done, and I encourage my Asian coworkers, friends, and family to continue to challenge and dismantle anti-blackness within the Asian community (and beyond). Let’s continue to educate our loved ones, listen to Black voices, and show up for Black communities. It’s an ongoing process that requires difficult discussions breaking cultural barriers- but if we want to be better, heal intergenerational pain and trauma, and fight against injustices, we need to keep the momentum going.
George Floyd’s death will never be forgotten.
Allison Auyeung
UX Designer
The open dialogue around creating a deeper and more inclusive environment has inspired hope within me that the next generation of Black and Brown people will have an easier pathway into the design and technology industry. The many organizations that have been created since last June, namely Where Are The Black Designers and Hue, have fostered a sense of community for underrepresented groups and have provided guidance and growth potential that’s new and deeply encouraging.
I’ve also been more inspired than ever to be an example to others, giving back to younger creatives in the form of teaching and mentoring. Sharing the tips and strategies that others shared with me along the way, allowing me to grow my own career.
Amanda George
Design Director
Personally, I’m very worried whenever I have any interaction with the police. I worry if for no fault of mine, I could end up as a statistic. I replay what I’m going to say, how I’m going to act, where my hands should be so I can minimize risk and get away alive. I’m fortunate that I live in the greatest city in the world. We live in a bubble. Outside of [New York City] though, the world is very different. I wonder how my children will navigate through racism, bigotry and violence. Will they grow immune to it, start accepting it, or will they fight it? If they choose to fight it, what forum will they take?
Nishant Bhalla
Director of Product
George Floyd was the last straw in terms of considering myself an ally, but realizing I had no idea what that actually meant. For me, his death meant re-educating myself about Black history and Black experience with books like White Fragility, The New Jim Crow and anything and everything by James Baldwin.
Stephanie Ursitti
Associate Category Manager, Retail
While the outrage and anger over racial injustice has justifiably been at the forefront I’ve gained a deeper understanding of the sheer exhaustion, both emotionally and physically that the Black and BIPOC community face every day because of the color of their skin. And that being an ally isn’t just about treating everyone with respect and being kind. It has to mean taking quantifiable action both professionally and personally. I was heartened to see my 16-year-old daughter get involved in protests and seeing it kindle a desire to fight social injustice.
Todd Pellegrino
Vice President, Content
