A Review of the Musings of Mike Tyson

There’s a lot going on in these United States in the year of our Lord 2017. Everyday it seems we’re getting another story about another prominent (or not prominent) male figure getting rightfully dragged up out the paint for some sexual assault from his past. On top of that we still have that dude y’all elected president making life on Earth ungooder every day.

So every now and then we need a time to sit back and laugh. And a great way to come by those laughs is to laugh at Mike Tyson (provided he doesn’t hear you and/or know that you’re laughing at him).

I’ve taken the liberty of putting together a collections of some of the funniest Mike Tyson quotes I could find on the internets. You’re welcome.

That one time Mike was interviewed after losing to Lennox Lewis and said that he was going to fade into bolivian…

That one time Mike was trying to set up the fight with Lennox Lewis by talking about how “impregnable” his defenses were and that he wanted to eat Lewis’s children…

That time Mike wanted us to empathize with his pain and he said he wanted to stomp on our kids’ future so we could feel what he feels…

That one time Mike was play fighting with his pet tiger on TV and said he wants “to have children with her”…

Aaaaaaand that’s about as far as I’ll go today. In searching for these I found a whole bunch of things that he said to women that should have him getting dragged out the paint too. Smh. There doesn’t seem to be any winning here. I tried.