Icebreaking

I had to take 2 days off work since some bruises began to show up around my neck entering the second day. Couldn’t go to work risking Lin finding out what was happening.

People would have called me stupid for not calling the police the moment it all started at the church. Rape, is wrong in any countries we go.

I didn’t want people to know what I did, either. Or worse, having to involve my parents to bail me out. I just wanted to get better, so I could think straight again, whether to get myself transferred or just move to another apartment.

As I was placing a clean pantyliner on my panties in case of more blood, I heard Ben knocking on my door again. I felt disgusted just by the sound of his voice, but he knew I was avoiding him because of what he did.

“Let me take a look, Yani. That’s all I’m asking.”

“Fuck off, Ben,” I insisted.

“I will do that but first let me look at you. Promise.”

Who else can I rely on at this time, I thought. Not like I could go around screaming for attention.

I knew he wouldn’t anything harmful if he was in his usual self. Though, how would I know when he could turn into a monster again?

After all, I couldn’t spend another day on Google searching for ‘how to fix a broken vagina without visiting a doctor’ and ‘Asian fuck Caucasian man’.

I opened the door slowly and peeked outside. Ben was holding a box of.. stuff. I sighed loudly and let him in.

“You’re hurt..” he said.

Not as much as it hurt inside, for sure. “What do you want?”

“Well I have..” He took out the things from the box he was carrying, pieces of what one would find inside a first aid kit. Though those didn’t seem appropriate for healing me.

“I need you to check down there, if I have a cut,” I said, firmly.

Ben looked reluctant. “But it’s..”

“Oh don’t act innocent!” I smirked. “You’ve seen it all.”

Without waiting for him to say more, I pulled down my panties and lied down on the bed. “Check now,” I ordered.

He swallowed and slowly spread my legs. He didn’t have a clue of what he was doing, or how he should check. His face turned to frowns at some point.

“Well?” I asked.

“I don’t know how it’s supposed to be..”

“I have blood streaks on my panties and it hurts when I go pee. Don’t you think there must be a cut somewhere?” I told him.

He didn’t want to do it, but he did it anyway. By using one finger he touched around for a while and asked, “Was that your first time?”

“No.” I replied, utterly offended.

“That was my first time..” he said.

That made so much sense. He probably had been learning sex through pornography.

“Just so you know, in those videos they’re just actors,” I said.

“Was it true?” he asked. “When you said you liked me.”

“That was a lie,” I said and got up. “Get out.”

He obeyed. Leaving the box on my bed, he walked out and closed the door. I locked it again.

Apparently he had been worried that I got hurt, rather than that I would call the police for what he did. I didn’t know what to make of him. If it was his first time and that he was telling the truth, it would be unfair to be mad at him.

I sighed loudly again. That was so much of a bullshit for me to take alone and I couldn’t do it anymore.

I gathered a few things, such as some changes and painkillers. Left home the next day, as earliest as possible. I pretended it was too cold, by covering the bruises around my neck with a really thick scarf.

One could always tell when a friend had a rough time. Lin wouldn’t stop asking if I was alright.

“I fucked Ben,” I said, instead of ‘Ben fucked me’ or ‘Ben fucked me up’.

Lin had her eyebrows raised. “Which Ben?”

I scowled. “Ben? O senhorio of my apartment. Ben Ben Ben.”

“Oooo Benedicto.”

Yeah. Even his name sounded awful.

“No, it’s Benedito actually.”

“Who cares?” I responded.

“So,” Lin moved closer. “Tell me ALL ABOUT IT.”

“Almost like losing my virginity all over again,” I said.

“Well well well.” she replied.

“What?” I frowned.

“Well what did you expect from a huge guy like him?”

That was not what I meant. Deep inside, I still felt sorry for him, but overall, I wanted him to be punished.

He left me feeling embarrassed, physically and mentally abused, and in pain.

“Well if a baby can come out from there, I bet anyone can handle a huge cock,” added Lin.

That made me feel so much better. “Thank you, Lin,” I held her hands.

I excused myself some moments later, letting Lin go home first before I did. If Ben wanted to fuck hard then let’s do it properly, I thought. Let him have a taste of what he did to me.

I stopped by the only gay sex shop that I recalled amongst the rest that I encountered while working around Lisboa. The well-groomed guy who was at the cash register assumed I was a transgendered girl.

“So you want this big?” He asked, making a circle using his thumb and forefinger when I inquired about restraining cock rings that were made specifically as entertainment for homosexual men.

“No, I want THIS big,” my Portuguese was a little bit rusty, but I showed the estimated size of Ben’s penis, using both of my hands. “This.”

The guy looked at me in disbelief, and took a peek down there and looked at me again. He probably thought it was for me.

I chose a vibrating set of cock rings and a bondage kit with restraining handcuffs, and walked home giggling the whole time.

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