The Norwegian Hitchgathering (ES 5)
Following Tinh’s directions, Lefty and Right headed towards the meadow where they reached a gate adorned with a “close behind you!” sign. After struggling with the looped string around the gate post, moaning sounds mixed with bright metallic notes penetrated their sound receptors. They quickly turned to see that they had been confronted by a herd of clouds on legs with eyeballs displaying rectangular pupils. Lefty shrieked and hurried away, keeping a curious distance between itself and the creatures, while Righty kneeled down to their level and stretched out an inviting limb. One of the bigger specimens approached it with its snout and started licking it. “Ihh that feels funny!” Righty cried out softly and started stroking its fluffy wool. “Haha they are so friendly! But look at these funny sculptures on their heads, I wonder what they are good for? And the eyes! They make my antennas shiver!”
After this delightful encounter of another kind they exited the meadow through the opposing gate where the path split into three directions, all marked with blue paint. Lefty wanted to go right but Righty wanted to go left, so they compromised by going straight instead. They marched through the dark forest, dodging crooked trees, mysterious plants and mossy boulders. Soaked with swampy water, caked with slimy mud, and surrounded by grass growing higher than their eyeballs could reach; they finally decided that it was definitely not the right way. After struggling for exactly 6957.83 meters instead of the 500 meters Tinh had described to them, they felt unusually exhausted by their trek, but even more by the creeping insecurity about what to do and the fear of being lost without knowing where to go next. They sat down to be on the same level as their mood, thinking about nothing and everything at once. All of the sudden they heard strange noises from somewhere in the woods. “Aaauuuuu” it called once and then a second time much louder out of many throats and other vocal organs. They had heard the call of the werewolves. Seizing an opportunity, the two eyeballs jumped up to their toes and howled back with the best “Aiuauiooouuu” they could manage. They didn’t wait long for an answer and started breaching through the woods, following the direction of the howling. After a few hundred meters the forest opened up and Trollvanna Lake lay before them. The ripples of moonshine on the water united with the warm glimmer of several fires. Smoke was rising over a camp and a weird collection of creatures was waving at them from the other side accompanied by clapping and an occasional howl. They had finally made it to this gathering of weirdos that was about to redirect the paths of their unimportant lives into a completely different, still unimportant, direction.
The collection of creatures that greeted them in the camp displayed a wide variation in size and form. While there were numerous humans around, there were also many creatures from beyond the atmosphere. The majority seemed to be solitary travelers while certain species tended to show up in groups.
“Welcome to the hitchgathering!” someone said, stepping out of the dark. It turned out to be their old acquaintance Ricardo, the green alien from Novelzelta. “You made it after all! Wonderful!” Turning to the others, he stated: “I found these two creatures at a gas station somewhere in the middle country and told them about all you other weirdos that stumble upon earth’s crust. The crowd responded with more “Yeeaahhhs” and “Auuuuuus”
Some of them came up to the new arrivals, introducing themselves and giving them a friendly hug, antenna swipe, tentacle stroke or trunk fart — whatever seemed appropriate to them. It was too much for the two to process, leaving them with a blur of friendly emotions.
One of them was Capo, a strange smelling, semi-gaseous entity that resembled a floating bacterium. It had numerous eyeball-like bumps that moved around in a seemingly random way that left everyone skeptical about their functions. “Hey you two eye-boogers” it greeted them. “How about an introduction to the camp? There is some common sense to be applied around here! So respect other creatures and nature by being nice and not dumping your trash and excrements randomly. Put them in the trash bags or shitpits — just follow the signs. Don’t use the drinking water to wash! Don’t make your private fireplaces as they use too much wood and damage the area, so use the communal fires! Try to keep the lake clean from food residue and help out a little with whatever needs to be done to make this place better for everyone! Other than that, no rules… besides being awesome of course!! Hahaha”, Capo spouted out while it pulsated frantically. The camp was organized around an open space with several campfires and big tarps stretching over them to give protection from the rain while simultaneously collecting it in big buckets. There was a kitchen area with a freshly constructed clay oven and a stone stove.
Next to it someone had built a shelf out of branches that was overloaded with heaps of vegetables and fruits, followed by an area full of packaged foods with anything from coffee and crackers to pasta and fish. Capo pointed at the food stack: “This is all dumpster dived food, so feel free to use it but keep in mind that we need to feed everyone.
We usually cook one big communal meal for dinner and for the rest of the day you keep yourself, and maybe some others, fed. Helping hands and thinking brains are always welcome!” it added with a smirk. Just outside the tarps creatures with headlamps were chopping and sawing wood to feed the ravenous fires. Glancing at them, it stated “They are heating rocks for a self-made sweat lodge with that wood. That’s why they are chopping so late.” Around the main site different types of shelters were scattered in the woods, barely visible in the dark. “You should probably put up your tent, or whatever you are carrying, soon before it starts raining again…it’s been a mess with the weather here!” Capo finally advised them. Lefty and Righty had been following him around in zombie mode, grunting an occasional “Ahhh” and “Mhhhm”, startled by this anarchic camp of self-organizing chaos. From somewhere someone called, ”the sweat lodge is reeaadyy! Cold bath as well! First naked first served!”
“Any questions?” Capo asked with satisfaction. Woken out of its paralyzing trance, Lefty cried out “Yes, thousands! What are you? What are we doing here? What on O is dumpster diving? How do you use a shitpit? Did everyone hitchhike here? Where are the other W.E.I.R.D.Os? How…” “Whooaa, hold your horses” Capo interrupted “not all at once! I am from planet Trashistan. It’s an intergalactic dump site. Dumpstar, our sun, would have burned out long ago if it wasn’t for the constant refueling with trash from all around the galaxy — especially radioactive waste. Also very useful in amping up your mutation levels!” it winked with some of its eyes. “So our number one economic activity is recycling, well, basically it’s our only one, hahaha. As for dumpster diving — it’s how people on Trashistan have survived for centuries, by eating what others have thrown away. Since I left to travel it has been my passion to spread the word and save as much food from the bins as possible. Let me tell you, Norwegian supermarket dumpsters are paradise! So much fresh food… enough to feed everyone around here! You can join us on a mission if you like! Everything else you will have to figure out by yourself or by annoying someone else. If you could excuse me now, the steam tent is waiting! See ya later, boogers!” And with that it hovered away in the direction of a steaming tent.
Righty and Lefty were left behind with a feeling of curious joy and excitement. “This seems like it will be so much fun!” Lefty stated. Righty agreed and added, “I guess it’s time to set up our burrows.” Looking for a free spot they wandered around the lakeside. They found a spot both close to the camp and right next to the water that was surprisingly not taken yet. As they put their packs down to let them dig through the ground they quickly discovered why. A significant part of the lakeshore was covered by a spongy mixture of moss, grass, and earth that floated on the water’s surface. Stepping onto it made it slowly submerge under the surface and rise back up as soon as you stepped off. Water was flowing everywhere, but generously left a modest mound sticking out of the middle of the swampy mass. It was enough for their grubs, not to burrow, but to connect into a semi-sphere resembling a human-made tent. After their energy-depleting journey to Trollvanna, Lefty and Righty were relieved to relax their eyes and retreat for some contemplation in their tiny dome.
The possibilities of the upcoming days performed imaginative skits on their inner eyelids and their minds became dizzy with details of what they had been exposed to on this strange planet so far. “I wonder if sometimes humans also feel lost on this planet with all its possibilities and uncertainties? How do they know what to do? How much do they just react to of what seems to be an external influence? Do they perceive it as a manifestation of destiny or can they see the causal chain of social and environmental interaction?” Lefty thought. “Thinking back on our drivers and our conversation with Tinh, it seems like the perspectives on this world are as numerous as the creatures wandering over it. There seem to be certain things many people have in common due to similar experiences in similar surroundings, but everyone stems from slightly, or even significantly, different backgrounds, making every human experience unique. Anyhow, it seems like some have a clear feeling of how to shape their destiny while others might feel like a bouncy ball that’s being tossed around and can’t figure out where gravity pulls; perhaps because the external disruptions of their life are too strong or the social corset is laced too tightly”, Righty concluded. “And like always, everything in between”, Lefty added. Continuing their contemplation, they were overcome by a feeling of absolute peace. The exhaustion of their travels and inexperience with navigating a fully independent body hadn’t allowed them the rest they didn’t know they needed. Suddenly, the percussion of the raindrops grew faint and their oversized eyelids collapsed, sending them into a deep dreamless sleep for the first time in their newly unstable lives.
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