prayer for the dead two

and how do i cauterise this body of pain within
chest and throat and cheeks and stomach
that chases and catches up with me again
as i travel this time to the place of my mothers land
and feel bodysick heartsick mindsick spiritsick

and how do i keep doing this
with every human and more-than-human death
wanting to
numb to
forget to
deaden to
shake to
move on to something
anything
that feels better than this

but we need to feel to move through to move with
to feel that on these seeming edges exist
the thousands of centres
including our own
as we try to pull and stretch and gnaw
at the tethers between us
to loosen them
to not feel the vibrations thrumb along them
of all life to which we are connected

burn the candles of mourning and remembrance
and wail the prayers for the dead
may their rest become our power
to act and to move and to feel what we must feel
for if not in our lifetime
then for the lifetimes to come
we can be the ancestors we would wish for ourselves
and for those lost too soon
may their memory be for a blessing
and for those lost too soon
may their memory be for a radical peace
and again and again and again

Adapted from prayer for the dead on Saturday 8 October 2023, for Israel/Palestine.