Single Mom Motivation ❤

I was shocked when I found out I was pregnant, like many women are…and I was lucky to have this all happen while I was working for a big company with amazing benefits.

After sorting through all the major decisions to prepare for my daughter to come, I knew I had to take one day at a time and manage the best that I could to do what was best for her and I.

I was a secretary, (ever since I started working full time in my early twenties)and I guess it never really bothered me. Work was just a paycheck and I had benefits so I felt like overall, I was doing OK. I was able to do what I want and I didn’t hate where I was going to work every day so I felt pretty content and did not think more about it.

Then one day it hit me. My daughter was a year and a half at the time and this was right after Hurricane Sandy (I’m in NYC). Our office had re-located to a different building and everything was basically upside down at this point. So there I am, sharing a cube with 2 other secretaries, typing away on a laptop and I thought to myself “What am I doing here?” I realized that ok, I’m not doing so bad, but I want more now. I want more for my daughter and you know what, more for me too. I’m allowed to want more and to have ambition and it’s ok to want to concentrate on that along with being the best mom I can be. I felt like I wanted to be the greatest mom in the world, but I also need to provide everything for her as well. Being a single mom by choice made me realize I need to make better career choices as well. It’s not just about being there for my daughter and loving her. That love and support poured out of me naturally.

It’s about feeling like you can take care of everything for you and your child on your own. The pride in doing that is immeasurable and I’m sure many single parents feel that way.

I never cared much about a “career” and felt like the only real important thing that matters is if you are a good person. And yes, being good-hearted is extremely important, but feeling like you contribute to society and learning every day in a career is also extremely rewarding and can better you and give you the chance to help others.

I decided, it was time to go back to school. After highschool, I had attended college and got my Associates Degree from Fashion Institute of Technology and felt that it was enough. I did not want to be bothered with two more years of classes and basically wanted to start working already. I was a bartender and was happy with the money I was taking in weekly.

I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do exactly but I knew I needed an affordable school in the city that had business majors. I narrowed down my results (Hunter and Baruch) and called the Admissions departments. Unfortunately, most of my credits would not transfer over and my GPA was not high enough to even be accepted so it would be like starting a 4-year degree over, completely. I did not want to do that part-time with a baby at home.

One of the Admissions counselors suggested I go back to F.I.T. to complete my Bachelor’s because I was halfway done there already and I could raise my GPA to then apply later for a Master’s Degree. I mulled it over and decided to take his advice.

Within a few weeks I was registered for the Fall semester and also found out, that my job would reimburse my tuition expenses! I felt like the stars were aligning for me here and that I was taking a big step in the right direction.

After about a year attending school part-time in the evenings after work, a friend of mine called me and said her job was hiring and she wanted me to come in and interview. I was caught off guard because I was not looking for a job at the moment. I was very comfortable where I was and loved who I worked with. There was a ton of flexibility and I was able to even work out during my lunch hour.

So, I was hesitant to interview because let’s be honest…it’s rare to find a job where you love the place and the people and have so many great benefits. The only problem was that I was never going to grow in that role or make very much extra money. So…I interviewed at the new place, and got the job.

I wish I could say how happy I was, but I was sad to leave my job..and scared. I knew it was going to be tough…switching jobs…going from a large place with a lot of culture…to a tiny place where I would be just the admin and nothing more.

The positive to changing jobs, was the very large increase in salary. It was a huge leap and would allow me to have better opportunity later on in my career.

To this day, I still don’t love where I am BUT I have learned a lot and feel that this sacrifice will pay off later. I’ve learned to deal with and manage very difficult people and also not to lose my head over every little thing. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? The best part is, being here, being sooo uncomfortable, has made my vision for my career a lot more clearer. I have an extreme amount of motivation to move on and do better and because of that drive, I know I will get somewhere better where I will be respected and valued.

Learning what I don’t like and taking on the opportunity to make more money has helped me understand what I do want and the amount of money I can make, going forward. I see my value now and know that I deserve a lot better.

Graduation is in 4 weeks and my goal of moving into a real career feels like it’s within reach now. I have worked hard and know my worth and know what I want for the next big move.

The next challenge of transitioning out of an admin role will be tough but I am working on this every day…applying to jobs, talking to recruiters, attending networking events, and most importantly…trying to get a mentor. I work every day to reach my goal of gaining a new, rewarding career, and I will not stop until I get it. My daughter, and I deserve it. ❤