Why I Love Being a Single Working Mother

And how it has made me more successful

Okay, so it’s not exactly a stroll in the park, but my journey has been one of the richest and most rewarding I could have ever imagined. Having been raised by a single mother myself, the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree. I’ll never forget the shame that was projected onto me when I first told my family members I was pregnant and was planning to keep my child. That being said, I don’t entirely blame them for having these feelings. Let’s be honest, I was a nineteen year old pregnant girl with no job, no money, and no support. What was I thinking?

When I gave birth in 2011, those who had turned a blind eye in fear and insecurity, showed up bright eyed and excited for the birth. Everyone couldn’t help but love what I had chosen to create for myself. After all, I had made this decision from my heart, knowing it was one of the most important ones I would ever make. I remember smiling in victory inside when Eli came, and being instantly humbled by him.

No one knew exactly what it had taken for me to bring that boy into this world; that I had spent those 9 months essentially homeless — at one point I actually stayed in a shelter and ate in soup kitchens. Despite having what felt like nothing at the time, I had made this decision to take on the role of being a mother, a nurturer.

From the moment I said yes to motherhood, I started working for it. It was as if the universe wanted to know what I was really made of. I saw things I never thought I would see, was treated in ways I never expected to be, and tested in capacities I didn’t know were possible. As more challenges presented themselves after having my son, I continued to forge through. I was bullied, physically abused, and threatened, none of which were easy to come face to face with, especially after having just given birth to a baby. But I can’t help but be thankful for the growth that came with these experiences.

Looking back, I learned so much about myself and the people around me. I started to see who I really was. I became a warrior without even realizing it. Most importantly, I started recognizing the connection between the people I was allowing into my life, and the type of individual I was becoming as I let them in. This is when the real change started to happen.

Breastfeeding, school, work, pump, play, teach, followed by more of that same routine all over again. This had become my life, and for some odd reason I was stoked! Not because it was easy, but because my perspective on things started to shift as I began taking away all the negative aspects that were toxic to both my child and me.

Yes, there was lots of blood, sweat, and tears, but I was doing it, and people were noticing. I landed my first salaried job as a nutritional educator at the age of 21, right before my son’s first birthday. I started my own nutrition company at 22, and by age 23 was sitting on an advisory board for one of the top nutrition companies in the world. Now, I am working on a new technology startup called Flutter.

If I can be a mother, and a good mother at that, I have already succeeded. Not because of my professional successes, or even the daily act of nonstop work and parenting. My success comes from my core. Thanks to my mother who birthed me, and the lineage I come from, I continue to choose the paths that come from within. I listen to the intuition that I came into the world with. As cheesy as it sounds, I will go against what anyone else says, before I go against my heart. I will challenge myself to the extremes, if it means that I will continue to grow and evolve, setting the ultimate example for myself and my family.

My story, my triumphs and falls, are unique to my DNA. I chose to take the power I have within, and use it to create my own reality. Despite there being moments where victimizing myself feels easier, I am always reminded of what that would really mean. Running, hiding, denying, resenting, it’s all a form a escapism, which simply isn’t appealing. I’d prefer to keep my power.

Today, I am already filled with everything I need.

I love where I am now in every capacity, and have realized that this is the first step to inviting the other seeds of my life to begin to grow and spread.

Yes, one day I will meet a man that I will fall into something divine with. Maybe I have already met him. Who knows, I may even have more children. But, why think too much about that when what really matters is sitting in front of me, already blossoming with beauty. So, when I say I love being a single working mother, what I really am saying is, I love where my life is right now, and how it has come to be.

Ashley Welch is co-founder of Flutter, a dating app that is going to change the world.