Dear Future Wife

You may or may not read this letter. You don’t even know I exist yet, but last night, you were on my mind. You know, I’m working hard to build a great life for me and my family; your role in that vision is so crucial that, at times, I can’t help but think about you, pray for you, and wonder how you are doing.

I look forward to being your husband. For many years, I was more excited about the idea of becoming a dad; becoming a husband was always a second thought. Things have changed a lot recently; I look forward to being your husband. Not a husband but your husband. Becoming the man you need while maintaining my six-pack, my head full of hair and making a lot of money- that package can’t be lost; if you don’t like it, you’re not the one!

Becoming a great man is not an easy process. I chose to become an entrepreneur and have spent my entire adulthood learning the craft. It’s hard. There are times when I wonder why I am putting myself through all of this. Oftentimes, during the dark hours, I think of you and our future kids. I think of my siblings and their kids. I think of young Congolese children wanting to become great because I didn’t give up. This gives me strength. The strength I need is to show up every day and try one more time.

Going at it alone is not easy, but the mission requires it. I’ve stopped dating altogether; I want the next person I date to be you. As I’m writing this, my stress level is through the roof. I’ve committed a lot of money in a deal that, to be honest, I don’t know will happen. At times, I feel like I’m being scammed, which freaks me out even more because I’ll have to explain to everybody who trusted me that I messed up. Killing myself is not an option; it has never been. So suffering it is.

I’m hoping for a miracle this week; despite the stress, I’m confident something good will happen. After all, I didn’t fly 35 hours for nothing. Funny enough, this deal alone will prep the scene for your entrance into my life and the beginning of ours. I look forward to hugging you tight when I’m stressed; I hope you can handle stress because it won’t stop. I’m dealing with hundreds of thousands of problems right now; tomorrow, I’ll be dealing with million-dollar problems, followed by billion-dollar problems, then trillion-dollar problems. You won’t have to deal with all the stress, but you’ll have to be strong enough to step up when needed, making sure that everything else is running smoothly while I go to war. I’ll be there to help, I trust that when the time comes, you’ll be ready; we’ll be ready.

I look forward to go to work in peace knowing my kids are being looked after by you. I know you’ll be a great mother and wife. I know you’ll be extremely beautiful, an anatomic bomb in my eyes. I know you’ll have great family values, that you’ll be smart, kind and nurturing.

I truly hope that you preserve yourself physically, mentally and emotionally because what lies ahead of us won’t be easy; you’ll need a lot of stamina and losing stamina over nonsense today won’t help. I’m going through a lot myself because, as a man, that is what is required of me. I’m also preserving myself for you so that you can be proud to be my wife.

Most importantly, I hope that you are investing in your relationship with God. Trust that God has your back and that he has a great plan for you- with me in it, of course, haha! Your relationship with God will be very important for our marriage because there will be many times when the only way to calm down will be to pray. It’s also beautiful when spouses pray for each other- I’m smiling as I’m writing this.

Anyway, I hope you have a great day. Mine will be eventful, but I was made for this; that’s what I do; that’s the price I must pay to be great and give you the life I want us to have.

I love you already, your future husband, Ned!

Dear future children

Okay, guys, Daddy is going through it- I’ll explain when you’re old enough to read this. I hope, though, that you learn the value of courage through my writings. I’m scared and stressed, but I’m still showing up. As long as I’m alive, I’ll keep showing up and finding solutions.

I hope that you grow up to be intelligent and courageous; you’ll need both to achieve great things. Stay humble; you have a great life because I and many other people sacrificed a lot. Don’t get caught up in vanities, and stay rooted to your roots. I look forward to holding you tight in my arms and reminding you of how much I love you. It’s 8:30 am now, and I have to prepare for my first call of the day. I love you; I can’t wait to hang out with you, and seeing you grow into beautiful, smart and kind human beings like your mother. I can’t wait to see you soon.

Love, Dad!

I write about my experiences, entrepreneurship and stoicism on medium, and tweet at @NedNadima.