Life at 31

Ned
Essays by Ned
Published in
4 min readMay 6, 2023

Another full year went by, and many things changed, and many didn’t. The age 30 crisis is very real; I can attest that when you turn thirty, you most likely feel like you should have accomplished more and haven’t done anything. A sense of panic and sadness creeps in when you leave the glory days of the twenties.

But at the same time, a new kind of confidence sneaks in. You realize that you are just 30 and still have many years ahead of you. You recognize that your experiences shaped you and that you have a better sense of who you are. This gets further reinforced when you turn 31; you become more of yourself.

Life at 31 is about accepting who you are. At this point, you know what makes you happy, what drains you, how you want to spend your time, what you are willing to work/fight for and most importantly, what you are willing to ignore. This knowledge gives a lot of clarity as you invest your time in things that add to your goals and religiously avoid things that don’t. You see it in relationships; you can’t just date anyone anymore. I mean, you can, but you don’t want to because your inner peace and sense of fulfillment are higher than an orgasm. Your goals are so clear that you can finally design your life around them, which makes it easier for you to accomplish them, feel fulfilled and further advance in your journey.

Accepting who you are gives you peace; by now, you know what you care about and don’t. For instance, I couldn’t care less about the latest Tik Tok trends or the number-one pop song on the charts. I still remember when younger Ned knew the top 10 songs on the chart by heart. At that time, I cared about it, and I’m glad I did. Finding great pop songs is hard, but I still believe that the stretch from 2006 to 2010 gave us some of the most iconic pop music in the modern era. Today, I care about building a great company, a weird one but a great one nonetheless. Weird because there is nothing about it that makes sense to outsiders, but from the inside, everything makes sense. I learned that some things don’t have to make sense to outsiders; they just have to work. This approach to life crystallizes as you age because you care less about what other people think.

This version of myself is stronger, wiser, and still full of energy and ambitions. I also appreciate that most of my close friends are still the same ones I had 8 or 10 years ago. Seeing everybody grow, become more of themselves, and take on new societal roles is nice. I have always cared about company building, not just for being rich, but because it is the ultimate form of creativity. Imagining a product and bringing it to life gives me a lot of joy and a sense of fulfillment, and it’s one challenge that I am willing to take on my entire life.

I also want a family; I need to figure that out because I get so much joy working that I don’t think I’ll be a good partner. I’m a workaholic who loves his work, so it doesn’t burn me out. Instead, it gives me energy and a lot of joy. I’m sure I’ll be able to have dedicated office hours for my wife and kids; regardless, they’ll know I love them. They’re not here yet, so I shouldn’t talk about them too much.

I wish to myself and my reader that the year 31 be a year where we become more of ourselves. By that, I mean becoming unapologetically yourself. Doing so will open more doors, as people know what you care about and are up to. So I plan to tweet, write, share, create, and be more. I hope you are not slowing down in your thirties; we’ve already spent 30 years trying to please other people, and now it’s the time to be more of ourselves.

I look forward to seeing how my life will be by the end of the year; there is so much on the go. One thing is for sure, it will be another year to remember. I wish that for you, too; make this year worth remembering.

I write about my experiences, entrepreneurship and stoicism on medium, and tweet at @NedNadima.

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