Life at 33

Another year, another piece. I didn’t quite know what the topic of this one would be, as life at 33 is a strange mix of progress and frustration. For those who read my previous pieces, the expectation was that Rosa would be flying high by now. None of that happened. Yet, Rosa is still alive and has the opportunity to be even greater than initially planned — so life is very strange.

Last year’s deal from hell took my life on a lonely, wild, and strange journey. Things didn’t go as planned, but the show must go on, meaning regardless of what happened, a solution must be found to keep the company alive, return capital to investors, and keep moving forward. I’d say that life at 33 is really about not giving up in the face of adversity. One of the hardest things to know in life is when to give up and when to keep pushing. I have given up in the past, and I’m not giving up on Rosa for one simple reason: there are still a lot of darts to throw at the wall.

Lonely, the path you have chosen
A restless road, no turning back
One day you will find your light again
Don’t you know? Don’t let go, be strong

Follow your heart
Let your love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe, I believe, I believe in you

Follow your dreams
Be yourself, an angel of kindness
There’s nothing that you cannot do
I believe, I believe, I believe in you

From Il Divo’s I believe in you

You should only give up when you run out of darts to throw at the wall, but as long as you can try new things, new approaches, and new solutions to fix a problem, you should keep going. This piece is really about not giving up — not because you’re being stubborn, but because you are so in-it that you can see what others don’t. That knowledge gives you the energy and confidence necessary to keep opening doors.

For many young adults in their late 20s and early 30s, life is not turning out the way they initially dreamed. Some have to accept the reality of spending the rest of their lives being content with whatever they can get. Others will try to shoot for the moon and crash and burn. Few will shoot for the moon and actually make it. Those few who do make it are the ones who keep throwing darts at the wall. This approach keeps you focused on reality, forces you to change strategy, and adapt until something really works. Success is really about staying in the game long enough until you get lucky; while you’re in the game, you need to keep playing.

You also learn to embrace the game — the good, bad, and ugly of the game — and embrace your journey. At 33, the world is different for many reasons: many friends are married, have kids, and your social circle is not what it used to be. It’s a blessing in disguise because it creates more time for you to focus and throw darts at the wall. Some of the biggest breakthroughs in history came about because people kept looking for new approaches to solve problems.

Having said that, hell can be very real. The stress, pain, and fear of not making it can get very loud in your head. The only way to quiet that voice is by playing the game. There comes a time when nothing works, when the only time you are at peace is when you are sleeping. That’s by far the darkest moment of the journey because it plays with your morals, dreams, and ambitions. If you are in that place, please do not give up on yourself. Remember that whatever stressed you two years ago is no longer a big deal; you’ve overcome it, and you will overcome again. The only people who have nothing to stress about are dead people. As long as you are alive, embrace the discomfort and stay in the game.

The journey wasn’t supposed to be easy; otherwise, it would have been very boring. So, at 33, I don’t feel like I’ve made it yet, but I’m so close that spending any time worrying about why I haven’t made it yet is a total waste of time. Delays in your dream provide a level of clarity that fast success doesn’t. It forces you to ask yourself: Why are you doing this? Why did you even start? Is it worth it? It forces you to think deeply about your inner motivation, your ego, and your dreams, and makes you wonder if you are willing to pay the real price of success. The price comes in many forms: ridicule, stress, money, fame, and others. There’s no picking and choosing; you take the package or you walk away.

As long as the game is not over, giving up is a mistake. For some of you, being alive itself is the game; don’t give up on yourself. If you can envision the dream, you can make it happen. The world is harsh for those who gave up on their dreams. They spend the rest of their lives wondering what would have happened if they had tried, if they had gone for it. Don’t be that person. It’s also not fair to the people who love you. Do it for them — do not give up on yourself.

Life at 33 is not the way I imagined it. Things could be way better and way worse. As you grow, you learn to embrace reality for what it is and stick to the plan until you win. Funnily enough, that’s the key part of adulthood: learning to take on responsibility and finding solutions to fix your problems.

You’re at the age where most people have given up on themselves, on their dreams, ideals, and goals. They are just coasting through life, and they don’t understand why you are still going. Don’t worry about them; they are not haters, they just don’t get it, and you do not owe them an explanation. I’d rather fail greatly and be ridiculed than not even try and be applauded. Life is short; we write our own stories through our actions. Now is the time to write yours. Keep pushing — I know I will.

With love, Ned.

I write about my experiences, entrepreneurship and stoicism on medium, and tweet at @NedNadima.