The Quick & Dirty Guide to Anal Cleaning

And why being groomed for the task can make butt sex more enjoyable…

Photo by Ron Lach via Pexels

The anal sphincter is a moody muscle. Strong and highly sensitive, it can smell our fears like a guard dog. If it picks up the slightest tension in our bodies, it will clench up like a clam.

That said, in order to enjoy anal play, one needs to be calm and relaxed. While there are many useful articles on how to better enjoy anal sex, they tend to focus on lubing, warming up, and being comfortable with our partners. What most of these articles fail to mention is the most essential ingredient to making this backdoor delight even more delightful: water.

There’s more to it than that, of course, and I’ll soon get to the dirty details.

My first experience with anal

My first anal experience made me swear off partnered butt sex for a decade. My first real boyfriend and I made every mistake in the book: Apart from never having heard of lube, I didn’t prepare at all. To top it off, we went at it, without warming up, leaning over the sink in a brightly lit bathroom — facing the mirrors.

Needless to say, the ordeal was painful, both physically and mentally. Self-conscious and utterly mortified at the thought of what would inevitably end up on that condom, I was unable to relax.

Traumatized, I swore off any partnered rear-end action for the foreseeable future.

Anal-cleaning lessons from the pegging expert

Two long anal-less relationships later, I reentered singlehood on a mission to wholeheartedly explore my sexuality and assuage my fears. I knew I liked the sensation of anal sex from solo play and was ready to give it a shot with a partner.

Soon after, I found myself in bed with a wonderfully eccentric artist with a thing for pegging.

The first time we hooked up, he excused himself to the bathroom multiple times, where I heard him running the shower and flushing the toilet. I was curious but didn’t ask.

I also noticed that the guy was mellow like jello while taking it for a long-ass time, and, speaking of ass, it was sparkling…