Kinksplaining with Ena

You Want Me to Stuff How Many Sharpies up My What-Now???

What’s up with hole-stretching and why are some people into that?

Wonder what a photo of a bunch of Sharpies is doing illustrating an article about sex and kink? Read on. Photo by Nihal Demirci Erenay via Unsplash

Dear Ena,
I connected with someone who said he’s into stretching a partner’s holes with Sharpie markers and it kinda weirded me out. What’s up with that? And why Sharpies?
Best, Julia

Dear Julia,
thank you so much for this question which transports me back to the beginning of my own kink journey. I, too, randomly stumbled upon the so-called Sharpie challenge, as well as anal and vaginal stretching, and had a similar reaction; what the hell is up with that?

I’ll start by going on a small tangent about the vaginal tightness trope, but I promise it will lead us to the core of your question.

Those of us with vaginas have been sold that we ought to be tight. Tightness is synonymous with youth, purity, and desirability. The tighter we are, the better sex feels… at least for our male partners.

A loose vagina signifies that we are just that; loose, used, and worn out. Basically, a slut.

Our society’s obsession with tightness has inspired procedures far more bizarre than kegel bells, vajajay steaming, and vinegar douching. Sticking…