Light in the Coronavirus Darkness and An Opportunity for Creative Rebirth
My reflection about the pandemic over the past four months (which began before Chinese New Year, the hardest I have ever experienced), and the purpose behind Artful in Quarantine
Tears streamed down my face when I watched videos from the young journalist in Wuhan documenting his time as a volunteer chauffeur for medical workers who lost transportation to work with the shutdown of buses. Tears streamed when I heard about Doctor Li Wenliang’s death. And again when I watched people in Italy giving advice to their 10-days-ago selves, with gut-wrenching messages. Tears streamed when San Francisco Bay Area authorities announced the Shelter-in-Place order, officially acknowledging the reality that the virus had come to our front door. I cried many other times, triggered simply by the thought of the situation we all find ourselves in. I am crying now as I write this.
I remember feeling embarrassed about wearing a mask to the gym in early February, when perhaps few in the U.S. were yet paying attention. After all, health experts at that time said the risk in California was low. I was already stir crazy when everyone else started to work from home, since I had been in self-imposed semi-isolation 3 weeks prior. I was ashamed by the racism directed at Chinese people among some in the U.S., and by anti-American sentiments among some in China. I was angry that both countries’ governments were inept, dishonest and pointed fingers at the other. I was disappointed when my speaking and coaching gigs at Stanford were canceled. I felt guilty that my life had not been significantly affected, unlike that of many others. I felt inadequate, unable to make critical contributions like a doctor or a vaccine researcher. I felt like a pig: just eating, sitting and sleeping, watching my Zoom appearance deteriorate closer and closer to a pajama state.
Yet, amidst all this, voices and emotions also began to emerge on the opposite end of the spectrum. First I felt positive that many, myself included, now had more time to meditate. Then came the eerie feeling that this virus is here for a reason, to halt planetary destruction before it’s too late, and sternly warn mankind to change its ways or else. I even felt guarded elation that perhaps this will force us to wake up, to curb our insatiable consumption, to slow our robotic busy-ness and purposeless work, to see possibilities that were previously unfathomable, to redesign our fragile and unjust systems from the ground up, and to reunite our polarized and splintered societies. Perhaps the worrisome zeitgeist that began the early 21st century is finally imploding, and in its place will rise love, compassion and creative re-birth, even though that implosion will be long, and that transformation will be painful.
Perhaps I am too naïve and romantic, because I know the virus will cause grave havoc. I know much worse is yet to come, both for human health and the world economy. However, as a Taoist I believe there is always light in the shadow, and vice versa. And having gone through a long, painful personal transformation not long ago, I know what strength, life, and lightness can come after the flames and ashes. Yes, I see the precipitous climb of statistical curves. I see the ugly hoarding, profiteering, and hate. But I’m also seeing beauty in heroism and sacrifice, generosity and resilience, ingenuity and humor. My pre-coronavirus hopes for a 21st century renaissance are further emboldened.
It became clear to me how I can contribute — Artful in Quarantine was conceived. Essinova’s mission to Cultivate the Extraordinary, in our society, and in you and me, is calling even more in these extraordinary times.
