Written by Snezhana Nashivanko
Successful businessmen are not always successful in family life, or an intelligent person is not always successful in career. Someone may be rich, but very stingy, while someone has the power, but does not have the wisdom. Different types of intelligence are intended to solve different problems in our life, but there is one universal type, designed to streamline our lives.
Emotional intelligence (also known as emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to see a request for help in someone’s anger and aggression, to see complexes and insecurity in the lust of power, in other words, emotional intelligence is the ability to look at the root of a problem. Emotional Quotient allows to recognize and understand what others are experiencing emotionally and what the main “deep” reason for someone’s actions is.
The researchers have concluded that the traditional test for measuring intelligence IQ cannot predict success in the life of a person, while emotional intelligence does it more effectively. In this way, IQ can help you enter university, but it is your Emotional Quotient that will help you manage the stress and emotions when facing your final exams. IQ and Emotional Quotient exist in tandem and are most effective when they round each other out.
Emotional intelligence has a great influence on all spheres of our life, ranging from career growth to family relationships. That is why a person will have more opportunities to make the right choice if he will have a good skill of EQ.
Characteristics of a person with a low EQ:
- Inability to understand the emotions of their own as well as other people;
- A tendency to insult and the lack of ability to forgive;
- Lack of sympathy and compassion;
- Focused only on themselves;
- Constant disputes;
- Lack of listening and hearing skills.
In fact, it is very difficult to meet a person with high emotional intelligence, because it is difficult to simultaneously perceive, use and understand emotions, as well as manage them. Usually, a person has 1–3 well-developed emotional intelligence components. The skills that make up emotional intelligence can be learned at any time. Some simple exercises can help you to master these skills:
- Be the message. People are used to separate themselves from their emotions. For example, if a husband returns home very late, a wife will meet him with irritation and reproaches. In fact, she is not angry but worried, she lacks the emotional intelligence needed to express her emotions. If she had thought about her feelings, she would have said: “I worry, when you come back so late, please do not be late anymore”.
- Ask for criticism. People do not like criticism, because it reveals what we avoid. Listen to criticism to better understand yourself and your hidden emotions.
- Make a pause. When we find ourselves in a conflict situation, it is necessary to pause, think before saying something. Usually, people react in two ways: make excuses or show aggression. Take a deep breath, exhale, and ask yourself: “Are those emotions important?”
Emotional Quotient has several models and of the simplest is a mixed model. It consists of five characteristics explaining Emotional Quotient and helping to improve emotional intelligence.
- Self-knowledge — the self-study, the process of studying your psychological and physical characteristics, weaknesses and strengths;
- Social skills — the ability to successfully interact with other people;
- Self-control — the ability to manage your emotions to achieve the goals;
- Empathy — the ability to determine the feelings of other people;
- Motivation — incentives that motivate people to action.
Emotional intelligence helps a person learn to think clearly. You will not be able to prove your point of view if you are annoyed and angry, because your mind is literally “polluted” with unnecessary emotions. If you learn to manage your emotions, then you will learn to control your mind.
“To be happy, you need to constantly strive for this happiness and understand it. It does not depend on the circumstances but on itself. ”L.N. Tolstoy.
