Going solo: How to network alone
Networking is a word that I find people either brighten their eyes at or shiver at. Last year, I was definitely a shiverer — and this year I would plant myself firmly in the middle of the range. I doubt my eyes will ever sparkle at the opportunity, as an ambivert, I tend to retract into my shell when needing to socialise with people I don’t know. However I have slowly, and very accidentally, started to become accustomed to networking alone.
I did a quick google for ‘solo networking’ and these were other questions people asked. So I thought I’d write an article of my personal experiences to help people like myself. And yes — it is 100% OK to go to networking events alone!
You have to start somewhere…
The first was the worst — In the aftermath of COVID, in-person conferences were finally starting to get up and running again, and I had tickets to Camp Digital, a fairly large Manchester based conference, with two of my co-workers. A few days before, disaster struck, both colleagues got hit with COVID, and I was to attend the conference alone. Dramatic I know, and honestly I didn’t feel that worried about it at the time. But upon arrival, I had never felt more out of place. Conferences are usually attended by teams or industry leaders, i.e. people that either already have rapport with each other or can easily create it with strangers. I managed to speak to a total of 1 person whilst there all day, the organiser, and then hot footed it out of the conference once it ended.
If you’re wanting to start networking solo, and are nervous about it, I don’t recommend that environment. There’s so much going on and people travel in packs. Networking at conferences, in my opinion, are for the brave, the chatterboxes, the ladder climbers and the organisation leaders!
Needless to say, I avoided solo networking after that disaster for a while. Until late last year when I attended an NUX event about Design Leadership, two of my colleagues pulled out last minute and I was faced with a fork in the road, tackle my fear of unknown social interactions or go home and watch an episode of Suits. I decided to choose to face my fear, as someone that wants to move into the design leadership club, it felt like it was a skill I needed to conquer.
Here’s a visual timeline of my actions at the event:
This was a much better experience. The attendance was smaller and focused than at a conference, and wasn’t so overwhelming. I could see people there solo, engaged in conversations, which gave me hope whilst scoping out my own networking opportunities. But looking back I made some fundamental mistakes:
- I arrived too late
10 mins isn’t late I hear you say, when you’re solo, it is! I’ve recently arrived at events at the exact start time and it’s already been buzzing with activity. The earlier you can arrive, the better chance you’ll have of starting to network, and it’s less pressured when there’s not as many people there. - I went on my phone
This is a killer! Would you approach someone on their phone? It’s less than likely, but it’s definitely difficult not to do, a quick glance is fine every now and again but try to remain open with your body language. - I chose a group of 2 to chat with
This might not seem like an error, and of course, it’s not always an issue. But I often find a group of 2 are either 2 people that know each other or, you end up interrupting in the middle of a 1-on-1 chat which can lead to awkwardness. I did the former, where I started speaking to two people that worked together and it felt like they kept trying to get rid of me with short answers, so maybe I’m just scarred from my experiences!
The upsides of going solo
There are so many bonuses I’ve recently discovered about going to networking events solo.
Among the bonuses is one biggy, I connected with an aspiring designer that asked me to be her mentor! I was over the moon and honoured to be asked, and we’re currently 6 months into our sessions together. Had I gone with a team, I may not have ventured out to speak with her and equally, she may have been too intimidated by the larger group.
I recently met some really interesting and lovely women at a Figma coffee morning too and it sparks your creativity to hear what everyone is working on and what problems they’re trying to solve.
So finally, here are my top tips to solo networking:
- Be yourself
Once when I couldn’t figure out how to ‘infiltrate’ a group of 3 people, I chose to awkwardly side-step into the group conversation. This immediately broke the ice as we all laughed at how awkward networking can be and we got straight into conversation. - Networking isn’t just about work
You’ll know you’ve really connected and networked when you leave an event and you’ve been able to not only discuss your career passions but also, your passions outside of work. These are the connections you then want to follow up with afterward. - Rehearse if you need to
Before attending events solo, I silently rehearse responses to questions in my head. I make sure I know how to introduce myself, my company and what I do in an efficient way so I don’t end up stumbling. - Avoid the food at first
If you’re networking alone, you don’t want to attempt to speak to people with a mouthful of donuts or cupcakes, it’s also harder to shake people’s hands if that’s something you go for. - Plan exit strategies
If the conversation isn’t flowing for whatever reason have some exit phrases in your back pocket to avoid awkward silence scrambling. Chances are they want out as much as you. Example: Well, I better keep circulating, hopefully speak to you later! - Put 👏 down 👏 your 👏 phone
I’m serious now. This is your number one networking blocker, don’t be on your phone!
In conclusion
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still incredibly nervous before attending each event, and my top tip is, if you’re not in the mood to socialise, just give it a miss, there will always be another opportunity. But if you’re feeling brave and up to it, go for it — the worst that can happen is, you’ll not meet anyone and the event will be boring, and you’ll have only lost a couple of hours.
Be honest with people and tell them you’re not good at networking or it’s your first time networking solo, giving people context is the easiest way to allow them to empathise with you. Now get out there and meet all the brilliant people the world has to offer and if you see me, don’t be shy and say hi, I promise not to use an exit strategy on you…
