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Human Sexuality

Is size the source of BDE?

If you are a man, at one time or another, you’ve done it.

Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

Whether you’ll admit it or not, I’m gonna bet if you’re a guy you’ve measured your penis. I’ll cop to it. I won’t cop to where I landed though. Not yet anyway.

And if you’re anything like me, you then searched the internet to try and figure out where you fall.

I recall the first (and only) time a woman I was dating referred to me as a “grower.” I had no idea what that meant… until she told me. In a weird way, it was kind of empowering because it sounded like she was pleased about it.

Nonetheless, I was still left scratching my head, wondering “What is a ‘normal’ size penis?”

So, allow me to attempt to settle some of this mystery around the size of your “John Thomas.”

For simplicity, I’ve broken size it into four groups, like soda:

  • Small
  • Medium
  • Large
  • Extra-large.

Small penises (1″ — 3″ when erect)

In medicine, this is referred to as a “micropenis”. The average size of the erect adult micropenis is about 2.75”. Now the causes for a micropenis vary but may include a deficit of testosterone while the fetus is developing.

It could also come from the use of some fertility-based estrogen drugs by the mother during pregnancy.

Micropenises can only develop in utero. So if you don’t have one, you’re not likely to get one (unless it’s from ice-cold water, but then it recovers — you know, shrinkage).

A micropenis can be treated immediately after birth with a boost of testosterone if identified right away. Although, I remain flummoxed as to how one might identify a micropenis on a baby boy, but then I’m not a doctor.

Unfortunately, while this testosterone boost may alleviate part of the issue, the penis rarely achieves “normal” size (see below).

As an adult, surgery can be performed to increase the size of a micropenis. But this surgery has not proven successful enough to become universally accepted.

Don’t be too alarmed — statistically speaking, the malady of the micropenis only occurs in about .6% of males.

This will sound crazy, BUT if you’ve made it to adulthood and still have a micropenis, you may want to consider yourself lucky.

Wait . . . what?

As recently as 40 years ago, it wasn’t unheard of for a child born with a micropenis to have gender reassignment surgery as an infant (with parental consent). Luckily, very few such surgeries took place from the ’60s to the ’80s and by the mid-’90s, this practice had virtually disappeared.

If you’re thinking you fall short in the nether regions, the odds are strong that you don’t. If it’s any consolation, all men think that. But comparisons are futile.

Medium penises (3″-6″ when erect)

This is where most guys live.

Pulling together 17 different studies, King’s College London reviewed real data about penis size and concluded that the average erect penis was 5.2”. Since this is currently (as of this writing) the most comprehensive study on penis size, men should breathe a collective sigh of relief.

However, it does throw a kink into the media narrative. 5.2" is still shy of the simple narrative of 6" being the “average” size of an erect “tallywacker” — I guess we men tend to round UP.

Data about the actual penis size differs from data about the perceived size. In a survey by UK based Health Bridge Limited, researchers asked men and women across Europe and North America what they thought the average penis size was. Inexplicably, participants overestimated the size of an average erect “wang” by anywhere from half an inch to one inch.

When it comes to the size of your “old chap”, it’s safe to say that perception is not reality. To be honest, that’s fine with me.

It’s not a small world after all — it’s a medium-sized one.

Large penis (6″-8″ when erect)

While no concrete studies have been done on the “shower” versus “grower” relationship, it’s safe to say that the flaccid “dingus” is no indication of its erect size.

It’s also safe to say that there is NO correlation between penis size and other body parts. So that guy with big feet or big hands? Rest easy, it just means he has big shoes and big gloves.

Also, the ideas around the size of one’s penis and race are just that, ideas. The scientific studies that have been done have concluded there is no data to suggest that different races possess different sized “ding-dongs.”

To be honest, you’re a “ding-dong” if you believe that trope.

More interestingly, Kinsey Institute data found that the average erect member of male homosexuals was 6.3”: a full inch larger than the normal size of the average erect penis of heterosexuals.

Turns out, maybe blondes DON’T have more fun.

Like it or not, the size of your penis is largely determined by genetics. Of course, you could increase testosterone levels during puberty to augment the size of your “family organ.” But if you’re rocking a medium-sized penis, it would be ethically suspect for any doctor to support a testosterone treatment to enhance your size as a teen.

There are tons of medical studies on “knob” sizes but they all conclude that size is hereditary (excluding the medical condition of the micropenis). So save your money because there are NO scientific data to suggest that penis pumps, enlargement pills, or bizarre exercises will increase your size down there.

If you fall into the large range and your partner likes it, cool. Bully for you.

If you don’t fall into that large range that you may think women want? Work on the softer skills like empathy and humor. And then brush up on some other techniques like angles and positioning. Focus on your kindness and attentiveness because that shite matters just as much as what you rock between your legs.

Extra-large penis (8″+ when erect)

Rest easy, my medium-sized brethren; no matter what you think or what you think you’ve seen, the XL penises are a statistical anomaly. Of course, they exist, but they’re few and far between.

The men most often mentioned with the XL are adult film actors John Holmes and Ron Jeremy. Holmes reported that his penis was between 10” and 16”. Based on my anecdotal research, I’d say it falls in the 11"-13" range. Jeremy reports a 9 and 3/4" erect “disco stick” — and that tracks.

What you don’t see in portrayals of the XL penises are the drawbacks. The most obvious being the discomfort or potential damage to your partner. Sex is fun and shouldn’t be painful (unless you’re into that sort of thing but that’s a different discussion… and should be mutual).

Those are solid concerns with an XL “atomic turtle.”

Not to mention, with an XL there’s the potential for limited foreplay. In the documentary film Exhausted, adult film actress Seka described oral sex with Holmes-like “fellating a telephone pole”. Yikes!

I once had an ex-girlfriend say to me “Thank God you’re not as big as my ex.” That was monumentally less empowering than the “grower” reference mentioned earlier.

So, XL penises are not Yeti’s, they exist; however, unless you’re born with one, you’re not going to grow one. Truth be told, I’m not so sure why you’d want to.

At the end of the day, does size matter? I don’t think so. And that’s not because I’m an average Joe. I just believe if you’re in a loving, caring and safe relationship it’s not that important. Whatever deficiencies may exist in the boudoir can be counterbalanced with loads of other techniques; provided you have healthy communication and trust with your partner.

So do yourself the favor and stop measuring and comparing because, to be blunt, you got what you got.

Is size the source of your Big Dick Energy? No.
Well, it shouldn’t be.

Sure, Medium Dick Energy doesn’t quite have the same je ne sais quo as BDE, but there is NO shame in the MDE game.

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