The Might & Flight of the Bufficorn: An Origin Story

Mar 22, 2019 · 3 min read

Curious about where the Bufficorn & his friend Spork Marmot came from? It’s all here!

The Bufficorn & The Spork Marmot.

The Bufficorn (monocerus magicalis bisonae) are a rare and magical creature native to the Continental Divide region of Colorado’s Rocky Mountains. Although endangered, their population is making considerable resurgence as of 2018. Bufficorns were first discovered in the late 1850s, just outside of today’s ski town Breckenridge, Colorado by Casper Bunyan, a prominent silver prospector of his day. Bunyan, while prospecting the Mosquito Range, saw what he described as a “pink sparkling mass of brown fur” off in the distance, near the summit of Quandary Peak.

“I shall never forget what was cast upon my eyes that day, a sight so stupendous as to render any sane person an instant believer of fairies. I’d have better luck prospecting the end of rainbows than attempting to describe the sheer fantasticality of what I witnessed that day.” -Casper Bunyan (1859)

Now over a century later, the Bufficorn has maintained legendary status within the tomes of Rocky Mountain folklore.

It is unknown how Colorado’s native Bison (aka American Buffalo) first mated with the magical Unicorns of Etherea. It is rumored, however, that a treaty was forged during the War of Protocolis (1245 c.e.) where a consensus offering was made between the herds of Buffalo and Unicorns, whereby the Prince of Bufficornio was to be wed to the Princess of Etherea Major.

The Bufficorn’s native habitat is above the timberline at 11,000–12,000 feet above sea level. It is believed that the thin air is needed to fuel their magic and flying abilities (see also: aeralis monocerus magicalis bisonae, aka PegaBufficorn).

Also living amongst their midst is the Spork Marmot (marmota sporkialus); a wiley and intelligent creature, known for their use of sporks for virtually everything, seeing clearly that it is a most utilitarian and superior utensil. A symbioses formed between the Bufficorn and the Spork Marmot shortly after the War of Protocolis, when the famed Writ of Mt. Sneffels, along with various other 140 character musings, spread widely across the Front Range.

The Spork Marmot, fluent in countless languages, was able to relay the wisdom of the Bufficorn by means of the bird Twiterpalious (colloquially known as the “Mountain Bluebird”), which found great dietary benefit in the pink sparkles trailing a herd of Bufficorn.

Mytho-zoologists have keenly observed how the Bufficorn offers reliable protection to the Spork Marmot, while they in turn offer far greater reach for the Bufficorn’s wisdom, without which soliloquies such as “Collaboration as a means toward Ultimate Abundance” by Sir Elbert Bufficorn, would have never graced the ears of humanity.

It is said, that once a year during the Celebration of the Bufficorn Solstice, the noisy stirrings of the Twiterpalious, the bombasticism of the Spork Marmot, and the cry of the Bufficorn can be heard at a heartfelt gathering within the capital city of Colorado — “Buiiiiidl!!!”

Want to learn even more about the Bufficorn? Watch this video!


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