The Empty Balloon
A Metaphor We Started Sharing with All Our Founders
Emotions run high in the startup world.
And for as long as founders must test their inventions, recruit talent, and pitch investors all before running out of capital, that won’t change. The nature of the work leaves one vulnerable to inevitable turbulence.
Perhaps the most overlooked skill in this field is the ability to meet the volatility with grace. To not let it get the best of you. To remain unphased by what some would consider the loneliest and most unpredictable job in the world.
It’s easier said than done. But fortunately, we don’t have to figure it out all by ourselves. Enter Vicki Abadesco, award-winning author, and founder of internationally acclaimed (and Oakland’s own) non-profit Soul Shoppe.
We were fortunate enough to host Vicki back in October for a workshop in San Francisco. Her mission with Soul Shoppe is to eradicate bullying from schools by teaching our young people the skills they need to navigate difficult social/emotional situations themselves.
What might surprise some is the extent to which Vicki’s core message applies to the founder community too. At our workshop she focused heavily on a metaphor we quickly started sharing with all of our founders: “emptying your balloon.”
The metaphor suggests we each have a balloon within us. The balloon is where we store all of the feelings with which we don’t know what to do. Feelings that make us feel uncomfortable, awkward, angry, frustrated or inadequate, for example.
As the balloon fills up over time, we deal with it in one of two ways. Either we consciously deflate it or it leaks on its own (or worse, it pops completely!).
What does a leaking balloon look like? It’s ugly. We snap at a co-worker, fire off an angry Slack message, or lose patience with a needy customer. We project the leak onto others. Or we engage in harmful behavior with ourselves… drinking too much, for example.
The Soul Shoppe approach encourages a better way: Take responsibility for your balloon and find healthy ways to empty it. Taking responsibility might mean speaking your needs, apologizing for a mistake, or taking a quiet moment to center when you feel stressed. And emptying your balloon can be done any number of ways: Run, dance, talk, cry, hug, etc. Everyone has their own method. The good news is the list of effective ways to do this runs long.
Enjoy The Work founder, Jonathan Lowenhar, explains here that his preferred method is to bury his face into the fur of his fluffy dog, Mochi Monster. (It remains unclear whether this activity in turn deflates or fills Mochi Monster’s balloon.)
As Vicki explains, the startup community is all about building relationships. You’re in a place of constant learning, collaboration, and frustration. When we forget to take care of our own emotional needs, we lose the ability to contribute effectively, much less work with others. And that’s counterintuitive for any team chipping away at a common goal.
“The metaphor also allows us to separate feelings from people,” says Vicki. “It’s not always the person’s fault, it’s just their balloon filling up. Reminding yourself of this separation sits at the core of becoming a more empathetic person.”
Vicki recently co-authored a children’s book on the empty balloon, which you can find here on Amazon. Whether you have impressionable kids or a full staff of adult employees in your life, we recommend checking it out. The message within transcends age and offers guidance on a soft skill we could all improve.
Thank you once again to Vicki for a great metaphor and an even better workshop back in October.
