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The Mythical End Post for a Career
Pulling the plug on my ’90s self-improvement cassettes to be ever-evolving.
Throughout my childhood, my dad played self-help tapes during truck rides. I remember the anxious feeling of needing to improve. I pictured it like a race𑁋self-improvement was an end post, and once I got to it, well, then I was finished, complete, whole. To me, we were all running to the same end post.
The cassettes washed my mind with feelings of inadequacy. I believed I was inherently flawed, and life’s journey was to become less flawed. Accolades, education, and titles became mile markers in life. They served as tangible signs that I was in the race. Then, after years of running, I burned out. I wasn’t improved; I was depleted.
Growth had become self-sacrificial.
How did I get there?
After years in corporate tech teetering on the edge, I jumped ship for my first startup.
It was hypnotic𑁋I was part of something bigger, a “family” that was, by most accounts, more accepting than my own. However, growing in a startup is rarely a feat of intentionality; it’s a feat of survival. There’s so much that can be better in the company, your team, and your role. I felt heavy with all the things that could be better. I got “meaning” and “purpose,” all for the low, low price of my soul.
