The Belief That Is Stunting An Entire Generation

Live in the moment.

This is very common advice. When I complain about stress, I’m reminded time and again:

“Don’t worry. Relax.”

Or, “Just breathe in and feel your feet on the ground.”

And, “Don’t think so much about the future; just chill out.”

Let go, and live in the moment.

The phrase “living in the moment” has tremendous marketing value. Instagram has built an empire on the simple idea of capturing an instant and sharing it with friends. Social media in general makes our moments seem important enough to distribute online for anyone to see. The “Experiences, Not Things” movement touts collecting moments, living moments, and celebrating living in the moment. Some of us even sign up for expensive retreats in exotic places in order to let go of our problems and limitations, and focus on releasing ourselves into a “natural state” of impermanence.

There is a time and place to live in the moment.

If you are experiencing unnatural anxiety and uncontrollable emotions, you might want to pursue some sort of meditative practice to help you alleviate these symptoms.

Mindfulness practices can also help deflect things that complete for our attention every day. These attention-zappers are outside forces such as news, social media, and advertisements that inundate every aspect of our cosmopolitan lives.

Or, if you find yourself constantly focusing on problems instead of solutions, you could train yourself to worry less by adopting more of a solution-oriented outlook. This will take you out of your head a bit more, and help you see reality as it should be seen.

It becomes a problem when we resort to “living in the moment” when things get tough.

I believe that the advice to “live in the moment” given too freely, and too freely adopted as a lifestyle mantra. Many people choose to hide from past mistakes or planning for the future by living in the moment. I have personal experience with this.

I used to live in the moment. I ended up staying in that moment for much too long.

When I was in my early 20s, I wasn’t able to see myself as an adult. My college major changed at least twice. I dutifully studied, achieved excellent grades, but I never thought of what job I’d get when I graduated. I didn’t have goals concerning the future. I never pondered how I’d plan for retirement. I didn’t keep binders of “wedding inspiration” or my “dream home.” I didn’t even have set criteria for an ideal partner. I just took things as they came, and lived each day as if it were separate from the rest.

I clung to mantras like “live for today” and “live in the moment” which prevented me from embracing the responsibilities of adulthood.

My moment was deep and endless. It came and went, and none of it pointed me to tomorrow. It’s not that I thought I would die young; I simply lived like tomorrow wasn’t important. I thought that I’d maybe find my future after I spent a certain amount on local, organic produce at the farmer’s market. Or after the next Bikram yoga class. Or when I clocked my 100th hour at 24 hour fitness. Or maybe I’d find my destiny at the bottom of my third tequila gimlet?

I couldn’t conceptualize the future. Like so many of my contemporaries, I thought my fate would simply appear out of nowhere. By doing this, I was unknowingly setting myself up for a future I wasn’t prepared for.

I knew I wasn’t alone in adopting a “live for the moment” mindset. Statistics show that the millennial generation, or those born roughly between 1980 and 1996, lacks a general sense of foresight. We are part of the generation whose parents told us “you could do anything you want to.” Everyone got a trophy. We are the entitled, “Yes Generation,” partially a result of the economic boom of the 80s. Because we had everything we needed, we became self-oriented and indecisive. Almost 50% of us entered college without a major and up to 75% changed our major before graduation. And, to embrace adulthood, and emerge from our “moment,” we had to take some time to evaluate our life choices.

When I finally surfaced from my five-year moment, I spent some good time reflecting on my life. I never reached “rock bottom,” but I was close. To learn more about how I confronted myself and changed my ways, visit Simple Living where my article “Living a Life Less Ordinary” is featured.

Right here and now, we all need to recommit to living life in a more meaningful way. It’s necessary to balance living in the present with learning from the past and expecting the future. We shouldn’t resort to “living in the moment” and hiding from reality when things get tough.

Balance the present with lessons from the past and expectations for the future.

The evidence is overwhelming that tomorrow will indeed come for most people, so we need to plan for it. We need to talk to our children, our students, our nieces, nephews, and all the young people in our lives about tomorrow. We need to teach them that actions actually have consequences, both good and bad.

The state of our future depends on what we do in the present.

Next time you are tempted not to worry, or not to think about the future so much, take some time to think about what “living in the moment” really represents.

Living moment to moment, as Instagram, SnapChat, and Twitter are telling us to do, is a trending phrase that makes avoiding responsibility both acceptable and cool. Society’s celebration of living in the moment is basically telling us not to study for the most important exam of our lives: our future.

Yes, studying is stressful. Anxiety always accompanies preparing for interviews, applying for jobs, opening bills, paying our taxes, accepting and responding to failure, or having that difficult conversation with someone we love.

You cannot escape the responsibility of the future by evading it today — Abraham Lincoln

We can’t shy away from tough things. Success doesn’t come easy, and the journey isn’t always comfortable. Forward progress requires overcoming obstacles and making ourselves better.

When I chose to avoid responsibility by living in the moment, I’ve learned that I was robbing myself of the invaluable chance to grow into a stronger, more resilient, hopeful woman.

Don’t get trapped by “living in the moment” as I had. Make your present useful by learning from the past and planning for the future.