A Collection of My Favorite Poems by Ogden Nash
Frederic Ogden Nash was a poet, copywriter, marketing professional, and comedic genius. I’m a big fan of poetry, but what I love most about him is his ability to not just initiate a half-smile with his work — Nash’s poetry makes you straight-up laugh out loud!
Apparently, he thought in rhyme from the age of six. It was perhaps his childish poetic ability that freed him from the constraints of modern poetry. His work regularly had words misspelled for comedic effect, or words that he made up entirely! He didn’t care much for meters and rhyme schemes either.
Ogden Nash’s work is unconventional and often absurd, but that’s what made him so unforgettable! In fact, his regular sabotage of conventional language rules soon became his trademark.
I think of all the things that could have possibly inspired him. Current events would’ve been my first thought, I mean, he lived through the sinking of the Titanic, World War I, World War II, Albert Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, Amelia Earhart flying across the Atlantic, the birth of rock and roll, the coronation of Queen Elizabeth, Disneyland opening, landing a man on the moon, the assassination of President Kennedy, the birth and tragic death of Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley’s Heartbreak Hotel, the marriage of Grace Kelly to Prince Rainer of Monaco, the golden era of Hollywood, flower power, the discovery of the Polio vaccine, The Korean War, The Vietnam War, Woodstock, the first email, AND… The Flintstones.
Honestly, if you want to experience want his life was like (plus a few years), here’s a glimpse of it in 4 glorious minutes and 6 spectacular seconds!
Ogden Nash took up a career in banking and finance on Wall Street before moving on as a copywriter with the agency that previously employed Scott Fitzgerald. After switching jobs a few times from marketing to publishing, Nash moved to Baltimore, Maryland, where he remained until his death in 1971.
To kick off this delightful poetry series, here’s what Nash thought of his new home. Comparing it to New York he wrote, “I could have loved New York had I not loved Balti-more.”
Song of the Open Road
I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I’ll never see a tree at all.
Requiem
There was a young belle of Natchez
Whose garments were always in patchez.
When comment arose
On the state of her clothes,
She drawled, When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez!
Crossing The Border
Senescence begins
And middle age ends
The day your descendents
Outnumber your friends.
The Cow
The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.
A Word to Husbands
To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.
The Baby
A bit of talcum
Is always walcum.
Reflections on Ice-Breaking
Candy
Is Dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.
The People Upstairs
The people upstairs all practise ballet
Their living room is a bowling alley
Their bedroom is full of conducted tours.
Their radio is louder than yours,
They celebrate week-ends all the week.
When they take a shower, your ceilings leak.
They try to get their parties to mix
By supplying their guests with Pogo sticks,
And when their fun at last abates,
They go to the bathroom on roller skates.
I might love the people upstairs more
If only they lived on another floor.
Lines on Facing Forty
I have a bone to pick with Fate.
Come here and tell me, girlie,
Do you think my mind is maturing late,
Or simply rotted early?
The Octopus
Tell me, O Octopus, I begs
Is those things arms, or is they legs?
I marvel at thee, Octopus;
If I were thou, I’d call me Us.
Everybody Tells Me Everything
I find it very difficult to enthuse
Over the current news.
Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens,
And that is why I do not like the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
To My Valentine
More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,
Or the Axis hates the United States,
That’s how much I love you.
I love you more than a duck can swim,
And more than a grapefruit squirts,
I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore,
And more than a toothache hurts.
As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,
Or a juggler hates a shove,
As a hostess detests unexpected guests,
That’s how much you I love.
I love you more than a wasp can sting,
And more than the subway jerks,
I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch,
And more than a hangnail irks.
I swear to you by the stars above,
And below, if such there be,
As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes,
That’s how you’re loved by me.
More About People
When people aren’t asking questions
They’re making suggestions
And when they’re not doing one of those
They’re either looking over your shoulder or stepping on your toes
And then as if that weren’t enough to annoy you
They employ you.
Anybody at leisure
Incurs everybody’s displeasure.
It seems to be very irking
To people at work to see other people not working,
So they tell you that work is wonderful medicine,
Just look at Firestone and Ford and Edison,
And they lecture you till they’re out of breath or something
And then if you don’t succumb they starve you to death or something.
All of which results in a nasty quirk:
That if you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.
Liked this series?
Good, I’m glad!
Please Google him, read more poetry, tell your friends about him! Shout out to my childhood friend, Rachel who helped rekindle my love for fun poetry by encouraging me to read his work.
