Conversations on Feminism, Humility, and Introspection
Don’t proceed unless you’re willing to get slightly annoyed with conflicting views!
I had an interesting conversation yesterday that made me think.
It began with someone asking me for my views on feminism. Now before we go on, it should be established that I’m in no way an expert on feminism. I consider myself a feminist, but if asked a lot of questions on the subject, I’d probably stumble and admit the truth — I’m still learning what it means to be a feminist, and there’s a lot that I don’t know.
Okay, back to the conversation — I was asked for my response to a reel. The caption and content talked about ‘feminism’ from a Biblical standpoint. To say the reel in question was offensive to me would be putting it mildly. It presupposed that feminism is a direct attack on God’s view of womanhood. Maybe the person that made the reel hadn’t been exposed to the truth of what feminism is about, or possibly, hadn’t understood the truth of what God’s word says about our identity as women.
Ignore this section unless you woke up today and chose violence!
The caption was this:
“As Christian women, it’s high time we stopped trying to defend feminism and understood it for what it truly is: A direct attack on God’s design for womanhood. Whether we want to admit it or not, feminism is not for God. It is not for God’s design for women. It’s not pushing us towards Biblical womanhood. In order to see how clearly feminism is attacking God’s design for womanhood, we need to pull out God’s word and do a side-by-side comparison. We need to see what feminism stands for versus what God’s Word stands for.
Let’s do a quick side-by-side comparison (we’ll focus on God’s instructions for young women):
The Bible says women are made in the image of God and their identity is found in Him (feminism says a woman’s worth and identity is found within herself. She is her own god).
The Bible encourages women to love their husbands (feminism encourages liberation)
The Bible tells women to love their children (feminism praises abortion),
The Bible calls women to be self-controlled (feminism promotes the “wild woman” lifestyle)
The Bible calls women to be pure (feminism fights for sexual autonomy),
The Bible encourages women to be working at home (let’s be real. The feminist movement has encouraged women to get out of their homes and out of the “bondage” of homemaking)
The Bible calls women to be kind, (the feminist movement has been one of anger and bitterness)
This one’s big! The Bible calls wives to be submissive to their own husbands (if there is one thing you will never hear the feminists promote, it’s biblical submission. Feminism encourages women to rebel against submission and to be their own authority).
We could go on… but you get the idea!”
I’m sorry. Please take five seconds to deep breathe before you proceed. I’ll wait.
Okay… let’s go.
NO. I didn’t get the idea. Reading it was somewhat infuriating. It portrays an extremely inaccurate view of feminism and juxtaposes that false ideology with what the Bible says. While I don’t deny that God’s views on the subject are crystal clear, perhaps feminism is NOT. It’s an evolving ideology, which in my mind, is how it should be. Like with any ideology, there are radical extremes. There’s a sea of opinions.
A glimpse of what I think of feminism from a Biblical standpoint
It’s the understanding and acceptance that women are different from men, but ought to be treated equal as human beings, as people. This means equity in opportunities, access to education, autonomy and agency to make decisions, and the freedom to feel safe with those decisions. It means that women ought to have the same rights as men, with the freedom to exercise those rights how they see best. Feminism does not push women back into the workforce after having children, it acknowledges that women may choose to be caregivers, or choose to have a career. But they have a choice in the matter. More importantly, they’re worthy of respect either way — coming back to the idea that they ought to be treated ‘equal’ to men as human beings.
It’s lazy to reduce feminism to ‘male-bashing’. It’s lazy to make assumptions like ‘feminism is just for the liberal’, or something as ridiculous as ‘feminists encourage abortion’. That’s entirely false, and a lazy way of pitting people against each other. Feminism doesn’t encourage women to have sex. It encourages them to make informed decisions, which includes knowing that NO is an option. Feminism doesn’t encourage women to work. It supports them should they choose to work, and respects them if they choose differently. If feminism sounds angry to you, maybe it’s because you aren’t listening. Maybe it’s because you aren’t paying attention. Try being ignored for years about your fundamental human rights, I’d be surprised to see you cheery.
The one with the introspection
If you scroll up, you’ll see that the title of this article is about humility, not about feminism. I realized that I need to work on humility by the end of the conversation (and possibly brush up on my learning and understanding of feminism too, it’s a vast, wonderful subject that I shouldn’t be intimidated by!) My shortcoming was that I wasn’t able to present my views well because I felt prideful and somewhat arrogant. ‘How could people possibly be so small-minded?!’ I thought to myself. I pitied people that had those beliefs, and had not an ounce of compassion. Perhaps it was the extremely triggering caption that I read that made me angry, or the fact that after all the progress we’ve made as a society, there’s still a lot of crap out there. It makes me feel like we have such a long, long way to go.
And yes, from a Biblical standpoint, there is a divine order of leadership. I love that! I thrive in it. But feminism doesn’t need to exist OUTSIDE of it. Feminism, in my opinion, is women having the choice to willfully submit to their husbands without being shamed by people that think it’s reductive. It also means submitting to God first, before you submit to your husband. Feminism essentially strives to bring back personhood to women.
So where do I put all my ‘righteous anger’?
Nowhere. Those are all just excuses. If I’m angry, I ought to be able to manage that anger responsibly. If I’m in a position where I know more on a subject, I should be able to express my views with respect in a way that’s constructive and makes someone else feel built up. If I have views that are glaringly different, I should have the grace to exit the conversation without needing to have the last word, or to make a point. It comes down to humility for me.
Humility is hard to come by these days, especially for me. I spend so much time reading, learning, and studying that I often feel like people should take my opinion as fact. It feels ridiculous to write that down because I come across as an absolute jerk, but if I really distill it down, that’s what it is. I’ve put in the effort to read and learn, I’ve analyzed this and given it a solid critical think. Just save your time, take my opinion, and be blessed.
The fact isn’t whether I’m right or wrong. Turns out I’m wrong quite often, but I seem to struggle less with being wrong than with being dismissed! So do I place my self-worth in the admiration, awe, and respect of others? Do I need their approval to feel clever? Do I need people to agree with me for me to be convinced about something? Does my conviction rest on the shaky shoulders of everyone that walks by with some knowledge on a subject? I should hope not.
I’ve given myself a little homework
Humility is something I ought to work on because, BECAUSE, if I’m a feminist, and believe in the personhood of a woman as equal to a man, worthy of respect — then I ought to be respectful too. Regardless of my opinions, emotions in that moment, and experiences. Is it gonna be hard? Sure. But will it be good for me? For sure! If there’s one thing I’m learning as I get older, it’s that conversations don’t get easier, they get harder. Disagreements are tougher to work through, yet they seem to pop up rather frequently. And people are MORE than the sum total of their ideas, opinions, and beliefs. They’re so much more. To be dismissive of them would be a disservice to ME, not to them. They’re inherently valuable and can add value to my life in some way if I keep that door open. This doesn’t mean that everyone belongs in my life, it means that I shouldn’t push them away before I’ve had the chance to accept them for the complex, messy, mystery of a person that they are.
Maybe I give people too much credit, but who cares? I’d want people to think that way when interacting with me too. If I think back to the person I was, rough around the edges, deeply flawed, and insecure — it’s impossible not to be grateful for the people that accepted me, gave me space to work on myself, and supported me even when I bungled it all up.
I’ll leave you with this quote!
“The best way to cultivate humility is by practicing trickle-up gratitude. What’s that? You ask. It is when someone thanks you for a job well done, and your little voice inside thanks God for the opportunity to do what you do.”
Charles F Glassman
Thank you for your time!
