An Unexpected Journey: Writing with Rachel Darnall
You know when you meet someone in person once, friend them on Facebook, and then suddenly form a friend-crush on them because you have so much in common? That’s how I met Rachel. She’s a 29-year-old writer living in Oregon, a stay-at-home parent, delightfully nerdy, and author of the popular Medium collection I Digress. She’s also co-editor of a relatively new collection by conservative women for “curious non-conservatives,” Iron Ladies. Her post “Why I Stopped Trying to Write Fiction” is one of my favorite posts on Medium, because I think it highlights the experience of a quiet segment of writers who find out that their initial creative goals may not be where their writing ultimately wants to take them. I enjoyed pulling back the curtain a bit more in our interview, so I hope you enjoy getting to know her, too!
How did you fall in love with writing?
I fell in love with the idea of writing as a young child who read everything she could get her hands on. Chronicles of Narnia, Lloyd Alexander’s Prydein series, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy, which my mom read out loud to us when I was 8 — I thought being a writer was better than being the President of the United States and the Queen of England put together. I fell in love with the process of writing later on in life when I realized that I really needed it to hammer the mess that went on in my head into something that had substance and form. So partly, it’s just a way of finding out what the heck I actually think.
What do most people not know about your type of work or your personal creative process?
I think people might be surprised that I don’t have a goal of writing every day. If I wake up and there’s nothing pounding down the door of my brain that I feel like I simply must get out on paper, I just don’t bother. I do other things, like catch up on the house cleaning. Life is too short to stare at a blank screen. I deliberately wait until I have at least a first line in my head before I sit down and start typing. If it’s not coming, I just do the dishes. The best recipe of all for inspiration is to start something that I can’t break away from — for instance a shower or a complicated recipe involving raw meat or whipping egg whites. That’s when my best ideas come: when I can’t write them down right away. Call it revenge of the muses, I guess.
This approach works for me, but there are a lot of people that it probably wouldn’t work for. Process is as unique as people are, I think.
As a stay-at-home mom, how do you feed your creative side and set aside time for writing through the 24/7 job of caring for a toddler?
Reading and learning are a big part of keeping my creative juices flowing. My husband Micah and I both really enjoy history, so we watch a lot of historical documentaries together. We are working our way through the American Presidents right now. I feed my curiosity whatever it demands: I finally bit the bullet and read War and Peace a couple of years ago, and became completely obsessed with Russian history for several months. It really had no relevance to my life, but that’s what I wanted to learn about, so I just went with it. My brain is like the appetite of a pregnant woman: you never know what it’s going to want next, and it’s better just to humor it.
As far as finding time to write around parenting: NJ (my daughter) and I have a pretty good routine worked out. I usually get up when Micah does, which is an hour or so before NJ wakes up. I am definitely a morning person. I get a pot of coffee going and usually by the end of my first mug I have something to write about. I work until NJ wakes up, take a break to get her up, change her diaper and all that good stuff, feed the dog and do the rest of the morning housekeeping. Then I pull her highchair over by the computer and ply her with cheerios (or whatever she’s having for breakfast) in between writing sentences. Now if you’ve been paying attention you’ve probably seen the fatal flaw in this method: I never mentioned when I eat breakfast. Sometimes Micah and I eat it together before he leaves, but more often than not I end up getting by on dry cheerios and the rest of NJ’s yogurt cup. These are the sacrifices we make for art …
What helps you recharge your creative batteries?
Real-life interaction. When I’m at home all day with no one but a toddler and a dog (as good of company as they are …), it’s really hard for me to get my mind off of writing and just give myself a mental break from it. Spending time with my husband, getting together with a friend, or even just going to the grocery store and talking to the person next to me in line really gets me out of myself and keeps me from obsessing 24/7 about writing ideas, reader feedback, and the bottomless hole that is analyzing one’s Medium stats. Getting out of the house is always an extra bonus. When your home is your work-space, it becomes really hard to disconnect from it.
What always gets you excited about your craft?
Finding common ground between me and my readers really gets me excited. I am always intrigued by the people who are reading my writing, especially those who I get the opportunity to interact with. It’s especially nice when you find you have common ground with someone who, at first glance, may not seem very like you. I’m embarrassingly curious about my readers — I’m kind of a creeper actually. Although journaling can be cathartic, I really enjoy the social aspect of writing for an audience. The process of taking my raw thoughts and attempting to prepare them in a way that will reach and connect with a reader is a challenge that I find really exhilarating. Some people really hate that part of writing, but for me that’s where the real “meat” of the process is. It’s a challenge, but it’s what I show up for.
Even if you never “succeed” with your writing, what would keep you creating?
At this point, compulsion. The more I write, the more I find I need to write. Even before I was publishing on Medium, I journaled — I think I am up to 15 or 16 volumes at this point just of personal journals that will (hopefully) never see the light of day. Some people knit to keep their sanity … I write.
What is a daily (or regular) discipline you’re following right now, related or unrelated to writing?
Micah and I do a Tae Bo work-out video three times a week in our living room. I hate it so much! I do not enjoy exercising and I am kind of a baby about it. We try to keep each other honest, though. When one of us is weak, the other is strong … sometimes. Other times we’re just both weak.
In what ways have you improved over the past few years? What do you still struggle with?
Probably the biggest hurdle that I’ve gotten over in the last few years is being able to come back after criticism. Writers want to be read, but no one enjoys being criticized. It’s painful and sometimes frustrating but it’s not something you can just opt out of as a writer. I am still pretty thin-skinned and a negative comment can really throw me off — and by “negative comment,” I mean even something as innocent as “I don’t agree with you.” I really want people to agree with me and I get sad when they don’t. I have the double curse of being opinionated but also really wanting people to like me, so I have to constantly curb the temptation to adjust my opinions so that people will approve of me, while still being open to correcting and adding greater nuance to my viewpoints.
What are your creative goals right now?
As terribly mercenary as this is going to sound, my only concrete goal right now is to get paid for something by the end of the year. It isn’t really about the money, it’s more about street cred. Does that still count as mercenary?
What advice would you specifically give to writers who might be realizing their preferred genre of writing isn’t the type of writing they’re best at?
It’s so hard to give advice, because everyone is different. Sometimes you really do have to just keep getting up and trying again. I wouldn’t want someone who genuinely does have a gift and passion for fiction to read my story about leaving fiction for non-fiction and start second-guessing themselves just because they’re going through a rough patch. But if you find that your weakness in one genre suddenly becomes strength when you switch to another, that might be a reason to consider changing your focus. For instance, my love of clarity and cutting to the chase made it hard for me to slow down and reveal a story with the nuance that is crucial to fiction, but I found when I started writing non-fiction, that was actually a strength. As much as I wanted to write fiction, I found that ironing out a knotty thought or sharing my point of view in a fresh way was something I was much better suited to. I do still enjoy writing a good story, but now I take my stories from real life instead of trying to make them up from scratch. Pop culture likes to tell us that we can be anything we want to be, but it neglects to mention that you could be the world’s best contortionist or the world’s worst Sumo wrestler — at some point you have to let your natural abilities and limitations figure into the equation too. The good news is that when you find the genre that really plays to your strengths, you will wake up actually wanting to write much more of the time, instead of dreading it. At least, I do. I guess I shouldn’t make promises.
Are there any tools, books, or other resources you would recommend to others starting out in writing?
Yes! My all-time, most favorite book on writing is James Kirkpatrick’s The Writer’s Art. It’s actually been out of print for a while (probably since before I was born), but it’s not hard to find a second-hand copy. Not only is it chock-full of great practical writing advice, it’s also just a riveting read. The chapter where he gives real-life examples of fragmented sentence mistakes that made it past newspaper copy-editors is one of the funniest things you will ever read. A Dash of Style by Noah Lukeman is another favorite — it’s a book on punctuation that is not about the dos and don’ts, but rather about how you can use punctuation stylistically to make sure that your writing is being read the way you want it to be. You’ll never think of colons the same way again!
(An aside about Dash of Style: early on in our friendship, Micah saw me reading this book and said, “You’re kind of a nerd, aren’t you?” I think it was a turn-on.)
What other advice or words of encouragement would you give to other creators in your field?
Never forget the person on the other side of the screen. Appreciate your readers. To be read at all is a compliment, especially in a time where there are so many voices competing for people’s attention. Don’t expect the world to change for you — find ways to reach people, and if the first way doesn’t work, try another. There is no justification for compromising on truth, but there is every reason to compromise on approach. You’re not going to win everyone over, no matter what you say or how you say it, but you can remove obstacles in people’s way so that they are at least rejecting you for what you are actually saying, instead of the way you are presenting it.
Now please don’t go read my writing and see all the ways I fail at that.
