10teen Reasons Why Switching to a Vegan Diet WILL Improve Your Confidence

As Written by A Lifelong Omnivore

Not a vegan. Sad.

1. Deprivation=Hallucination. Giving up meat is easy, but giving up ALL things animal?! Now, there’s a challenge. And when you have so many more obstacles to keep yourself nourished, you sometimes won’t be. And when you deprive your brain of key nutrients it is very likely you will begin to think that those around you suddenly find you more interesting. Your friends may very well be asleep, but all you’ll see is laughter and applause when you tell them all about the time you challenged a demo person at Whole Foods who didn’t realize honey wasn’t vegan.
2. You were lactose intolerant the whole time! You gave up meat 10 years ago, and you never really cared much for seafood anyway. So, when your doctor suggested that you try giving up dairy, you figured you’d just go full on vegan cuz it sounds cooler. Turns out, doc was right! No more date nights ruined by your toilet time! It’s much easier to enjoy a night out, when you’re not concerned about shitting your pants. And having to explain that you’re a lactose-intolerant vegetarian just isn’t sexy.
3. Being in control is so hot right now. Making the choice to limit your diet, shows to the world that you cannot be controlled by outside forces. You’re not jut following a trend you’re in control! When you take this attitude to the dinner table, you’ll be bowled over by your own confidence. You’re like the Prince of England! You rule (not really).
4. You’ll have the moral high ground. There are plenty of things that you can do to contribute to the betterment of society at large, but when you donate money to a charity, adopt a child, run for local office, start a non-profit or whatever it’s much more difficult to bring it up every time you go to eat food. As a vegan, you have not just the right — but the responsibility to remind everyone around you, just how morally superior you are. Plus — it doesn’t matter what your reasons for going vegan are, but now that you do it, you can feel confident in knowing that you’re better than everyone else.
5. You’ll probably lose weight. Not definitely, cuz every body is different — and eliminating animal products doesn’t cut out sugar. BUT, most vegans do lose weight, and we all know that being skinny — like being white or male, gives you an automatic confidence boost. See: privilege. (Unless you get “too skinny” in which case you should probably become a model, otherwise people will criticize you for that as well)
6. You’ll be smarter. Now, this one may seem like a jump, but think about it — you’re going to have to read more! You may not realize this now, but there are animal products in SO many foods — and not just like whatever gummy candies your friends told you about in middle school (unless that was just a 90’s thing). But, did you know that there are vegan wines?! Basically, in order to be a good vegan you’ll have to get real good at reading labels and doing your research, so you’ll HAVE to get smarter. I mean, can you imagine how awful it would be if you were caught putting honey in your tea by a fellow vegan?! #savethebees
7. Moby. That is one confident bald man. If veganism can give him confidence, then it has to work for you.
8. Automatic conversation starter. Whether you’re on a first date, going home for Thanksgiving, or just riding on the subway, once you share the news of your new diet people will have questions for you. Sometimes those questions will be things like: “why didn’t you tell us before we cooked this whole hog for you?” But most of the time, it’ll be more concerned with your new perspective on life, and “why on God’s green earth would you stop eating chocolate?” And those give you a platform to really share all of the amazing characteristics we’ve already discussed. And because it’ll come up so often, unless you live in a place like New York or LA where everyone’s already a vegan, you’ll get so good at sharing your worldview. And when you’re a good storyteller, you can’t hide from your own confidence.
9. You’ll be closer to God. Think about it — Jesus, Buddha, Mohamed…they all made sacrifices. They didn’t partake in things that the regular folks love. Sex, pork, being mean. So, if you’re sacrificing the natural human urges to suck on some bacon or lick a stick of butter, then you will feel closer to God. And if you’re not at all religious, then you will feel even cooler, because you can attribute your holiness to you, yourself and you. Boom.
10. Poop. In the beginning of your new lifestyle, you may find it takes some time to adjust your body to all of the new veggies and beans and protein replacements. But, once you’ve gotten used to all those greens and beans your poops will be so clean. And it’s just so much easier to love yourself, when you don’t hate your skidmarks.

teen. As in, you’ll feel like a teenager all over again!