3 Ways to Start Your Day Right

Adrienne E. Cooper
Jul 27, 2017 · 1 min read

Because starting your day left is so last year!

The sun is left I am right.

First, you need to wake up. I know that this is probably the hardest thing to do in the morning, but think of it — it could possibly be the hardest thing you do all day and the only way to know for sure is if you’re awake.

Second, break all of your electronic devices. Trust me. They’re just machines designed to make you think that your life is now more efficient, but in truth they’re evil and bring you nothing but stress, heartache, and carpal tunnel. The only exceptions: sex toys and air conditioners (this includes fans).

Third, assuming that it’s day time, enjoy the day. Read a book, or go for a walk, or eat some food. Think about all of the things that you are grateful for in your life, and let out an audible sigh of relief and gratitude. If it’s night time, then you’ll want to go back to sleep now that you’ve destroyed all of your electronics. A great way to help yourself fall asleep is with your sex toys.

Everyday Exclusive

Have you ever felt like you don’t belong in any generational group, despite being born in a generation? Well, if you’re like our founders, you have the opposite problem. Welcome to Everyday Exclusive: content for content’s sake!

Adrienne E. Cooper

Written by

Professional Foodie, Writer, Actor, Native New Yorker, Silly Human, Entrepreneur. Not to be confused w/the late Yiddish Singer of the same name.

Everyday Exclusive

Have you ever felt like you don’t belong in any generational group, despite being born in a generation? Well, if you’re like our founders, you have the opposite problem. Welcome to Everyday Exclusive: content for content’s sake!

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade