3 Ways to Start Your Day Right
Because starting your day left is so last year!
First, you need to wake up. I know that this is probably the hardest thing to do in the morning, but think of it — it could possibly be the hardest thing you do all day and the only way to know for sure is if you’re awake.
Second, break all of your electronic devices. Trust me. They’re just machines designed to make you think that your life is now more efficient, but in truth they’re evil and bring you nothing but stress, heartache, and carpal tunnel. The only exceptions: sex toys and air conditioners (this includes fans).
Third, assuming that it’s day time, enjoy the day. Read a book, or go for a walk, or eat some food. Think about all of the things that you are grateful for in your life, and let out an audible sigh of relief and gratitude. If it’s night time, then you’ll want to go back to sleep now that you’ve destroyed all of your electronics. A great way to help yourself fall asleep is with your sex toys.
