The paradox of life planning — how it might not work!
What we can learn from start-up’s in life and why being open for the unknown is the most important strategy ever.
Okey, first of all. I’m all for strategies and plans — in the right ways with the right intention. But given that most strategies fail, actually more than 75% to be precise if you’re talking about corporate strategies, then why are we so fixed with the idea that we can plan the future?
You might have talked to a coach, psychologist or even some “successful” friend that claims it’s not your strategy it’s wrong with, it’s our attitude or even abilities. We’re taught in schools and life that it’s important that we do the right things, choose the right things and especially plan so the dream we have becomes reality.
I sure can relate to this. I’ve spent most of my adult life exploring, reading and dedicating myself on the subject of living my dream life. I’ve written life plans, vision statements, career plans, relationship plans, filled out life wheels… You name it! I’ve been interviewing employees, friends and mentors in what strengths and weaknesses they see in me and what I could develop to become “the best I can be”. You might think this is a little too much. Like it’s not sane and probably not healthy — and it isn’t. Not for me anyway. I’ve designed visions, plans and written down goals that I time after time failed to achieve. Not because I didn’t want to succeed, but because life changed, things happened and so did I.
You might argue it’s about discipline and only if you had the same firm dedication as that well toned Instagram person you follow going to the gym, as being obsessed, six times a week. And it might be about discipline. But what if it’s about knowing that you can’t plan anything to the fullest and that it’s not about doing major changes all of a sudden, but rather taking small steps being aware that everything could happen — and not happen.
“The only thing I know is that I know nothing at all.” — Socrates
When I was a manager, I usually asked employees what they would do in five years. That was the tough question to understand if they had ambitions, goals, and drive. Honestly, hand on heart, what do we know about the future? Where did you think you would be and do five years ago — and where are you now?
Just consider the digital revolution. Five years ago, people, we’re walking around giving lectures about social media because it was so new — now you have youths making millions broadcasting on Youtube. Did PewDePie know that he would be one of the most influential persons on Youtube five years ago? When you ‘google’ him his occupation is “computer game commentator.” Listen to that mom, saying playing computer games won’t take you anywhere.
We need to be open for the unknown, so we’re taught having a good strategy and a good set of goals, in life and business. To aim high. To have a big and HAIRY goals. And those things will get you far and make you succeed. Given that most strategies fail, consider how many times we fuck up in relationships, to follow through with our new diet, go to the gym or dream about quitting our job and pursuing our dream job.
A wise person once said: “Do you want to know how the future will become? Create it.”
This is already widely incorporated in the start-up community, and now it’s time to start understanding the benefits of the words pivoting, emergent strategies and feedback loops in your daily life.
Emergent Life Strategy
What we can learn from start-up’s in our daily lives.
My friend Oscar and I, who inspired me to write this text, talked this morning about life and changes in life. We talked about the challenge and misconception where we tend to believe that success stories of life changes, entrepreneurial paths, and artistic expressions started from being at that level from the beginning. As if the founders of most companies even had a hunch that their company would be doing what they were doing when they started from the beginning. As if those authors and creators we admire woke up one morning and found their unique expressions that touch the hearts of many.
Test early, test quickly and test cheaply
Imagine playing basketball — if you’re standing 40 feet from the basket and think you can jump from where you are and slam dunk reaching your dream life, dream job or dream relationship from that distance in one shot — good luck! If you’re smart and think you, on the other hand, can throw the ball from that distance and hope that you’ll hit the basket and score, I would not put money on you succeeding. But if you, on the other hand, are wise and realize the easiest the most precise way of getting the ball into the basket is to take small steps and get as close as possible. Short passes, working your way forward.
While working your way forward you might have to pivot (structured course correction designed to test a new fundamental hypothes) which could include that you realize you need to make changes, develop new behaviours — one at a time — or even learn new things to reach your goal — one piece at a time.
Emergence is a word used since the days of Aristotle. It’s used in physics, phycology, and philosophy. In nature, emergent structures are patterns, which are not created by one single event but rather formed by the complex interaction from bigger entities, patterns and smaller events. Nothing commands the system to form one particular pattern; rather the pattern is created by the interaction of different parts in a complex chain of events that lead to a certain order. When ‘successful’ people tell their life story, it seems as if everything went according to the plan. As if there existed no emergence at all. As if as soon as they decided to develop the next successful company, find the right relationship or write the next bestseller — it just happened. It was all about their attitude and positive thoughts. I love positive thinking, but try positive think yourself to the next Spotify, Google or Millenium trilogy.
We’re surrounded with limiting beliefs. It’s in the crossroads between having dreams and being aware that their all made up, just like most other things, that we might find the strength of being hopeful but also open for the unknown.
It’s in the crossroads between having dreams and being aware that their all made up, just like most other things, that we might find the strength of being hopeful but also open for the unknown.
Having an Emergent Life Strategy could mean having a dream or more like aiming for that basket with intention and focus. Meaning having an abstract goal such as “start writing” as I’ve dreamt about for years. It could also be ‘creating a job where I feel that I serve something positive’ instead of having ‘my dream job.’ Instead of building a big company that scales and becomes the next super-company, identifying what you love to do and do more of that. Everything big started small.
It could mean identifying which positive actions I could take today and in the near future in order to come closer to my dream, not planning the major events I’m going to do next year to become that amazing and super-successful person — but instead just start taking action that with small efforts takes me closer to my intention and direction. So for me, it was getting an account on Medium instead of sitting down and try writing a book. And then, understand it’s all about learning and developing feedback loops. Meaning: Reflecting on what you discovered about yourself and the process. What did you learn about your ability to, let’s say, write. What did you realize when you took your positive action? What patterns did you experience it yourself and how did they help you and hinder you?
To sum up the idea: Have an intention or idea of where you’re heading → start small and test fast → take positive actions, one step at a time → learn, tweak and develop → Continue.
Most things that happen usually happen without us planning it and most importantly, happen when we’re open for the unknown and take small baby steps towards whatever we’re longing for. However this resonates with you, remember that life is more than planning it to the last hour.
