Are your kids moodier now the weather’s dark and cold?

Using physical and emotional needs to fight Seasonal Depressive Disorder

With the first recent snowfall of the season, you might be experiencing “in the air, there’s a feeling of Christmas,” as the old song goes.

Maybe you and your family really love winter sports, and you’re looking forward to hitting that first powder.

It’s also possible that you, your spouse, roommate, or child are feeling a little under the weather. We don’t mean that they’ve caught a cold or the flu. Rather, they might be feeling unusually sad or irritable, even when there’s no obvious reason, or they’re very self-critical; maybe they’ve lost interest in things that used to be enjoyable, or they’re exhibiting (or complaining about) low energy levels. Perhaps they have experiencing a drastic change in weight and eating habits, or they’re sleeping a lot more or a lot less. They could also be engaging in self-harming behaviors, or talking about feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, or numbness. Maybe they’ve even confided in you about suicidal thoughts or attempts.

These are the symptoms of clinical depression, but they can often be aggravated or experienced anew during the time of year when it gets colder and darker outside. This is called Seasonal Affect Disorder.

We always encourage you or your child to visit a doctor, especially if these symptoms persist over the course of two weeks. A doctor can help with things like adjusting medication, choosing a new medication, or prescribing light therapy (specialized lamps that mimic sunlight).

However, sometimes these kinds of moods come and go through the season. Either way, there are simple things you can do for the child or teen in your life to care for their physical needs and their need to feel safe.

Regarding SAD, Dr. Heather Bernstein at the Child Mind Institute said: “The more we can pull our access to sunlight into balance, the more beneficial that’s going to be. Regular physical activity and a balanced diet have also been found to be beneficial.”

The key here isn’t to berate your child or teenager if they’re sleeping the day away. Rather, it’s to consider how you, as the caring adult, can make it easy for them to keep a schedule, get outside, or eat well.

Can you give your teen a budget to buy fun, warm winter clothing to make it less painful to be outside in the cold? Do they have a favorite meal that you can make for them regularly so they’re getting enough nutrients?

What does your child like doing that might inspire them to get out of bed at a consistent time? Even if it’s video games, that might be an improvement from lying in bed on their phone because at least they’re up. Can you do this activity with them?

A feeling of emotional safety and security is one of the most important things we can provide to someone who’s having a hard time. The same things that help someone feel safe year round will help them if they are experiencing Seasonal Affect Disorder.

We’ve written extensively about what creates safety, and you can always download a free Resilience Handbook for more tips on safety from our website at EverydayStrong.org

However, when it comes to SAD, specifically, we can help someone feel safe to open up to us about what they’re experiencing. For example, if your child is more irritable, self-critical,or any of the other SAD symptoms, we have a few choices about how to respond.

We could tell them to complain less and be more grateful; we can express our own irritation back; or we could be impatient that they’re sleeping so much or avoiding family time. All of these reactions are very invalidating and unempathetic. SAD is a real condition, and the child or teenager may not even understand why they’re suddenly feeling so negative or lifeless.

On the other hand, we can choose to help a child feel safe with us by validating their emotions. If we notice that they’re unusually listless or avoidant, we might take the time to sit down and ask them a few gentle questions about what’s going on and really listen to the answer.

We might share how the dark and cold sometimes affect us, too. We might require less of a child who struggles during the winter, knowing that when spring rolls around they’ll be back to their usual self.

Originally published at https://www.heraldextra.com on December 27, 2020.