Why your kid’s smartphone isn’t to blame for their mental health

Almost all of us have read articles or talked to friends about the connection between screentime and children’s mental health. These articles and conversations can leave us feeling disheartened and discouraged — especially as we worry about the rising rates of depression and anxiety among youth.

Oftentimes, social media and the internet are “blamed” for the increasing mental health issues and lack of resilience we see among youth. We wonder if emotionally struggling youth can be helped while being constantly exposed to the negative effects of smartphones, tablets, computers, social media, and the internet.

Yet let’s talk about how the relationship between mental health and device usage (and social media usage) isn’t a black-and-white issue.

Humor us, for a moment — and imagine a training marathon runner who regularly hits mile eight but can’t continue any further. It happens for no apparent reason, and regardless of how often they try.

Why would this be the case?

• Would it be biological — do they fail to make it past mile eight because they’re not “biologically programmed” to run a marathon?
• Psychological — could they make it across the line, if they only had more “self-discipline” and self-motivation to push through?
• Environmental — if there were better roads or paths to train on, could they make it to mile nine?
• Or something else altogether?

As you’ve probably intuited, it’s difficult to say — and the truth is that it’s likely a combination of these reasons.

The same goes for a child struggling with mental health or behavioral problems. Emotional wellbeing is complex, multifactorial, and different for each individual.

There are usually numerous factors that contribute to a child’s depression, anxiety, or poor emotional health. As such, it can actually be more harmful than helpful to assume there’s one underlying “cause.”

Child psychiatrist Matt Swenson, MD, says:

“The research is not definitive yet about whether smartphones are universally and unilaterally a problem in kids’ lives. You should be skeptical of someone who tells you otherwise.

But at the end of the day, even if there was a direct link, I would question the assumption that removing phones and devices entirely from our children’s lives would be the best course of action. They can actually help meet some of our most basic human needs.”

Screentime has become an integral part of society. It’s impractical to expect anyone, especially our kids and teens, to go through a day without interacting with some device or another.

And just as biology, psychology, or the environment are unlikely to be solely “responsible” for a struggling marathon runner, it’s unlikely that your child’s screentime is what’s truly “causing” their emotional or behavioral struggles.

So, what can we do?

We can switch our focus to what we do know — the fact that children have three basic emotional needs: emotional safety, connection, and confidence. After that, our mindset shifts. And so do the questions we ask.

We start to ask questions like: In what ways does a child’s smartphone, social media usage, or screentime undermine their basic emotional needs? When and how do a child’s devices help them feel safe, connected, or confident?

Undoubtedly, there are times when devices and access to the internet/social media can harm a child’s sense of safety, connection, or confidence. Cyberbullying is an easy example — as well as when in-person relationships with family and peers are being put off, or impaired, in favor of screentime.

Yet let’s also think of ways where devices help meet basic human needs.

Kids can feel emotional safety when they’re able to call home or contact help at any time. They often feel safe to explore, try new things, and be themselves when they are in a familiar place with a device at their fingertips.

Youth can strengthen connection and their sense of “belonging” with their online friends and family. Sometimes the most meaningful, essential friendships our children have are with peers they’ve spent hours talking to virtually.

Confidence can grow as youth learn through their online interactions, and get a chance to “practice” skills like boundary-setting, communication, critical thinking, and emotional regulation.

The relationship between technology and mental health is complicated and multifactorial — so let’s avoid reducing screentime to a simple “privilege” that can be taken away at any time. Devices can, and do, play a daily role in our kids’ and teens’ emotional and social wellbeing.

Rather than concentrating on what’s to “blame” for our kids’ and teens’ emotional struggles, let’s focus on the everyday ways we can help youth feel safe, connected, and confident. ※

United Way of Utah County is on a mission to help every child in our community feel safe, connected, and confident. Twice a month in this space, our EveryDay Strong team will share ideas from local professionals, parents, and friends about how you can help the kids in your life thrive. Want more mental health and resiliency resources? Click here, or follow us on Facebook and Instagram!