Nobody asks me to dance
Disclaimer: your story can be different. I know the title sound like a clickbait, it’s intentional.
I recently decided not to go for a social dance because “nobody asks me to dance” and this really does not work well with my self-esteem. I might be whatever experienced dancer (if we count years) and in general nice person (I hope so, but it’s subjective), but at a local social event, I usually dance several songs with my partner Max, then he invites somebody else and I just wait or talk to people. Max jokes, leaders are afraid of me. I really hope this is a joke.
The last straw was this situation. After about half an hour of watching people and occasional chatting, I invited a guy to dance. He said he needs a break and I waited for 20 minutes. Not that I really want to wait, just wasn’t prepared for another “no”, so did not ask anybody else and no one asked me. When he was ready eventually, Max saw us going to the dancefloor and said: “you see, somebody asked you to dance!”
Me: “actually I asked him”
The guy: “well, I’ve asked you before”
Like half a year ago or what?? And you’ll never do it again? Still, I can find hundreds of excuses for leaders not inviting: tired, shy, are being asked too often.
It really sounds like I’m the worst person ever, since nobody wants to dance with me. And I do tend to blame myself: Do I look like I do not want to dance? Or like I’m wearing a crown? Judgmental? Not smiling? Picky? Some of this is really true about me (guess what), but the worst thing I do is WAITING.
My best party at a recent festival abroad (where I did not know much people) was the 3-hour afterparty, when I finally decided to take responsibility and stop being both shy and picky. So I just started inviting a person next to me and had a great time not leaving a dance floor.
Why can’t I do it all the time?
