The WTF of happiness
Why it’s not so easy
Happiness is counter-intuitive. Others may see you as miserable, poor, sick or lonely, but you may feel better than anyone whose living conditions are on the top level.
Happiness is subjective. It can be measured only from your own perspective. Either you think you are happy or not, no matter what your life looks like.
Happiness is not what you born with. A base level comes with mom’s and dad’s genes, but it is not what you are doomed to.
Psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests, 50% of our emotional well-being depends on genetics, only 10% — on circumstances and 40% — on actions and attitude. That’s a lot. Good news, you can do something to feel better. Bad news, it may not come easy.
Our brain tends to mess up with us. Things that people normally think will make them happier, usually do not bring that much effect. Good job, awesome stuff, perfect body and even happy marriage — are all subjects to hedonic adaptation. You just get used to them and do not feel anything special after some time. Those were the bad news.
Good news: you can thwart hedonic adaptation with things like gratitude, strong social connection, kind deeds and savoring. You can even spend money to buy happiness by investing in experiences and philanthropy. The book mentioned above features 12 actionable strategies to increase happiness (backed with research and experiments).
If you are like me, this list may sound cheesy or even lame to you. “Is it you, Capitan Obvious?” — “Well, — he replies, — which one have you tried?” Knowing something does not mean doing it.
Good news: these strategies do work if you give them a try. Start slowly with one or two that come more natural. Bad news: even the easiest of those may require some efforts: setting a reminder, checking up with yourself, rescheduling, stepping out of comfort zone. You do have to teach your brain what to want to become happier.
Happiness is counter-intuitive. But it is also actionable.
