groceries

This time will be different. I only need three things. There’s absolutely no need to get a cart. Can you imagine rolling around the supermarket with this massive cart filled with a small pack of baby carrots, a piece of cheese, and some ice cream?

Not to mention the waste of time to go all the way over there to get the cart and then return it. And for what? Three items. Please, I don’t even need a basket. I can probably even carry everything with one hand.

I know, I know. I’ve said this before and ended up stumbling around the aisles with way more than I could carry in both my arms. But I’m telling you, this time it will be different.

Oh, I might get some broccoli. Yeah, why not? Carrying three things or four is practically the same.

Always eat before you go grocery shopping. I should keep that in mind. Right now, even these pears look delicious. Maybe I’ll like pears from now on.

You know what? I’m gonna get some of these bananas too and hopefully replicate that Insta recipe.

Discount on cream cheese? I’ll have to take one.

The wife just texted we need zucchini and tomato sauce. Alright, back to the vegetables.

God, my arm is getting a bit tired. It’s better to switch arms for a bit. Hold on, can’t drop the tomato sauce.

This reminds me, we ran out of oats the other day. What’s my breakfast without it? Can I hold it, though? Sure I can. Just pinch the bag between the pinky and the ring finger.

Got it!

Shit, my phone is ringing. Or is it an alarm? Later, later. My hands are tied.

I have to go — short steps, slow and in control, so I can make it to the cash register. Hug things a bit tighter; this is why I go to the gym. Not too tight. Don’t blow up that bag of chips.

Something is slipping near my elbow. I can feel it. Please, don’t let it be the glass jar with tomato sauce! Anything but that.

Wait, if I hunch over a bit, I’ll be able to hold it for longer. It’s harder to walk, but I’m only a few steps away from the register.

Now, all I need to do is place everything on that tray thingy. Conveyor belt. Whatever it’s called.

*Drops all groceries at once*

The pear that I’m never going to eat rolls to the cash register.

She saves it, puts it back on my pile, and smiles politely. I knew I should have gone to the self-checkout machines. I smile back. A smile that says, “I know you guys have carts and baskets. This is how I prefer to shop for groceries.”

I stand tall. Proud. I made it!

But I’m never making that mistake again.

(I’ll continue to make that mistake on a regular basis)