Why this is Here

I’ve struggled with some level of anxiety and depression, low self-worth, toxic beliefs, and anger for as long as I remember. Living like this is exhausting, annoying, costly, crappy, holding me back.

I’ve spent a lot of time hand-wringing, bemoaning, asking “why?”, ruminating, half-assing, excusing, shrinking, cowering, avoiding.

I’ve also made some great steps in positive directions.

This year, I’m kicking my attempts at living my best life/truth into high gear. I’m going hard with armfuls of self-improvement/self-help/personal development/personal growth books. I’m using apps designed to motivate, affirm, encourage, inspire, and organize. I’m getting (more) mindful about what I eat. I’m moving my body. I’m trying new things. I’m honing my craft. I’m growing myself.

I don’t have it all plotted out yet. I don’t know all of what I’ll read, what I’ll use, what I’ll discover, what I’ll discard, what will kick my ass, and what I will surprise myself by rocking. I am — as Alan Watt advises about writing a novel in his book The 90 Day Novel (which I’m incidentally working my way through right now) — “holding it loosely”.

I just know that I want better. To feel better, to be better, to love better, to live better. Let more joy in, stress less. Embrace myself, accept others.

I’m chronicling it here, as best I can, and offering my (truth time: slightly cynical) take on it all.

Thanks for being here.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.